


the wanting comes in waves

by mairieux



Series: town of jade [1]
Category: VIXX
Genre: Anal Sex, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fingering, Implied Neo, Kinda, M/M, MORE than implied neo, i lowkey made jaehwan a bitch in here but its fine hes just a panicked gay, in a universe where j dice existed, ok thats all thank u i'll love u if u read this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 03:03:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16317902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mairieux/pseuds/mairieux
Summary: There are three (3) things to consider: one, Jellyfish Entertainment’s bestselling solo artist, Lee Jaehwan, is dating someone; two, that someone Lee Jaehwan’s dating, is also Jellyfish Entertainment’s J.Dice’s seasoned main rapper, Kim Wonshik; and three, Lee Jaehwan and Kim Wonshik, are too good at pretending to be in love.





	the wanting comes in waves

**Author's Note:**

> good luck 
> 
> and when i say good luck 
> 
> i mean Good Luck

_i. dramaturgy_

It starts out like this: Lee Jaehwan gets the wrong order for his Starbucks drink on an April morning.

“Thank you, Taekwoon hyung,” he cheers as he reaches for the cup. Like his hand is itching to have it already, Jaehwan’s fingers immediately latching onto the drink, feeling the excitement when the sweating plastic touches his skin.

No, this is no new drink.

This is his favourite, namely, ‘Iced-Shaken Hibiscus Tea with Pomegranate Pearls’, with its flavour already ingrained in his taste buds; so when Jaehwan sips it for the first time today, the moment it hit his tongue he already noticed something’s wrong.

He squints, still sipping, as if he’s waiting for the taste to change as long as he continues. Taekwoon looks at him expectantly already.

“Something’s wrong,” Jaehwan tells him, still squinting, before giving another sip, “it’s – it’s too sour, it definitely only had one pump of sugar when I usually ask for at least four. And-“ Another sip, “and- There are no pearls?” He raises the plastic above eye level, only to see no pearls indeed swimming in the bottom of the cup. “Who ordered this?”

“Sanghyuk,” Taekwoon answers immediately, already taking his phone out to probably text Hakyeon to buy Jaehwan a new drink.

“Who’s that?”

“Sanghyuk?”

“Who else?”

Taekwoon gives him a face, his silver hair falling down his slanted eyes, a brooding look. “Sanghyuk. Hongbin’s new assistant.”

Jaehwan tilts his head to the side, and Taekwoon can see the shape of his nose very clearly when he does that angled expression when he’s confused.

“The name sounds familiar,” Jaehwan utters when he’s done racking his head for anyone named ‘Sanghyuk’ and ‘Hongbin’. He slumps back again in the weaved chair he’s sitting on, completely relaxed even though they’re in the company entrance lobby.

“Well it should be,” Taekwoon snides, eyes not leaving his phone as he texts at a fast pace, “they’re J.Dice’s managers, I believe.”

To be honest, Taekwoon’s almost expects Jaehwan to also not know, but the expression Jaehwan gives tells otherwise.

“J.Dice? That dead group?”

The bluntness makes Taekwoon almost choke in his own seat, and he bites his lip to prevent any loud noise he might accidentally make.

“Jaehwan,” he starts, lips already wobbling to laugh, “they still haven’t broken up. That’s a bit too mean for you to say.”

He knows Jaehwan’s not doing it on purpose, acknowledging his ignorance for the group’s managers, to assuming J.Dice is already, well, gone, as just his inability to remember and besides, it’s none of their business.

“It’s true, hyung,” Jaehwan habitually sips on his drink, only to react bitterly when he tastes the sour liquid again and remember that it’s wrong, “they’ve been so inactive for so long, you would’ve thought they decided to cut ties with the company without telling anyone.”

When Jaehwan joined Jellyfish Entertainment, it was around the time J.Dice was already starting to become irrelevant to the music industry. To an outsider, it might seem that Jaehwan’s just snobby to his seniors, but Taekwoon knows he just didn’t have time to learn nor meet them. Not like they still frequent the company, anyway.

It’d be your lucky day to even see someone from the five-membered group, unless,

“Who was it?” The younger continues, mumbling and sipping his drink again, already accepting his fate with this sour, unexciting leaf juice at least until Hakyeon comes (that is, Taekwoon did text him to buy a new one.) “Who’s it that’s the only one active? The one with the solo career? Raveh?”

“It’s Ravi, Jaehwan,” Taekwoon wishes Hakyeon would just hurry with the car, so they can already proceed to Jaehwan’s schedule for the day.

Gossiping about J.Dice aside, Jaehwan’s set to have a photoshoot in an hour and a half for a car magazine, then a guesting at a radio show in three hours, a meeting with a producer thirty minutes after that, then lunch break, and the rest of the afternoon he’s expected to practice his new album’s choreography until six in the evening at the earliest.

“ _Ravi_ ? I’m sure he always says something like, _Raveh_ , whenever I hear his songs playing in the hallways.”

Holding back a sigh, Taekwoon lets his shoulders drop instead, “it’s hip-hop, they do that.”

 _Please,_ Hakyeon _._

::

Jaehwan behaved better today, flying through his photoshoot flawlessly. He was modelling for a Porsche, the newest car model, and they wanted to have Jaehwan after learning that the idol also has his own Porsche.

(He tells Taekwoon, in the middle of the shoot, finally sipping his proper ‘Iced-Shaken Hibiscus Tea with Pomegranate Pearls’, “maybe I’ll get a discount if ever I buy it. That is,  if I did well today.”

Hakyeon sniggers behind him, even though half of his attention is on his iPad containing all related to managing Jaehwan’s schedule. “Cars aren’t as easy as to replace as Starbucks drinks.”

Of course, Taekwoon laughs. Jaehwan neck chops both of them before calling for a stylist. His back is sweating too much.)

The radio show wasn’t boring, but Jaehwan wished they had better things to say. He thought he was a solo guest, just to realise only then that he was guesting along this rookie girl group. Most of the attention was on the girls, so Jaehwan was pushed into more of a commentary role. Okay, it was _really_ boring.

And after that, the producer he met up with – kinda weird – his palms were a little sweaty that had Jaehwan signing Hakyeon to discreetly pass him wet wipes. They discussed Jaehwan’s new album, and the benefits of adding a song with a featuring artist.

(Sungjae, is it, tells him that it’s better to have at least one featured artist in his new album since this is one of the ways he can have his songs promoted with not much effort.

Jaehwan wonders if he exactly needs it, but he tells him he’ll consider it. He probably won’t.)

 _Lunch_ , is where it’s at.

While Jaehwan’s distractedly nudging Taekwoon’s side for his comments on what they’ll have for today; currently torn between Manhattan Meatlovers and Barbeque Chicken pizzas, and all Jaehwan is relying on is how loud Taekwoon’s grunts will be when he asks for which.

“Jaehwan,” they hear Hakyeon call, phone hanging by his ear, looking like he just got a call from whoever.

“Oh, hyung,” ignoring the possible news, Jaehwan points at the menu, “do you want Manhattan Meatlovers or Barbeque Chicken pizza?”

“Manhattan.” But he takes Jaehwan’s wrist, leading him to sit down on a booth and signalling Taekwoon to order for them.

It was a great thing that Jaehwan decided to wear something less ostentatious today, and they easily mingled along the common crowd who are also enjoying their lunch.

“Listen here,” he starts, looking at Jaehwan in the eye, and maybe the younger might’ve been less behaved today than he thought?

“What’s up?”

“Sajangnim directly called me.”

Oh.

“He said he needs to talk to you after lunch, as soon as possible,” Hakyeon’s already typing it in Jaehwan schedule, but Jaehwan’s blood just runs cold.

“What could it be about that he wants to see me so soon?” He voices out, jutting his lips out as he ponders about _anything_ that could be a reason. He wouldn’t be so urgent about the new album, nor his concerts, nor his prescheduled collaborations with brands...

“He didn’t tell me much either, but he told me it’s important.”

Taekwoon comes back, wallet in hand, a clueless expression on his face.

“What happened?” He queries softly, sliding next to Hakyeon in the booth.

“Sajangnim called me,” Hakyeon repeats, unrolling the sleeves of his dress shirt so he’s able to rest his arms on the cold steel table. “He said to bring Jaehwan asap after lunch.”

“So soon? About?”

“No idea. He was pretty cryptic about it.”

“Huh.”

“That’s such a mood,” Jaehwan mumbled to Taekwoon, hand pressed against his cheek and muffling his words, “I don’t know what’ll he say but- I am very, _hmm_ … Scared? Not really. Curious, maybe.”

“He didn’t sound like he was in a bad mood, and more of like he was rushing, actually,” Hakyeon tells him, before his eyes light up when he sees the waiter with their order.

Well, it can wait. Pizza first.

::

When Hwang Sejun told him, at exactly one-twenty-seven in the afternoon, with the air-conditioner turned up to the highest and basically made all the nervous sweat on Jaehwan’s hands and neck condense, that he’s going to ask something important, Jaehwan already knew it was something he wouldn’t be able to say no to.

“I don’t know how else I’m going to phrase this,” he begins, hands folding together on his wooden desk, “but I’m asking for your help.”

“My help?” How on earth is a K-Pop idol going to help a goddamn CEO, uh?

“Our Kim Wonshik, he’s been recently involved in a, well- I wouldn’t say scandal, but there’s been rumours and photos sprouting everywhere the net that he was seen buying drugs with a woman, who is also being assumed as his girlfriend.”

 _Kim Wonshik_ ? Jaehwan looks at his left, and catches Taekwoon rolling his eyes, before he leans closer and whispers, “ _Ravi_. J.Dice’s main rapper. The one we talked about earlier.”

“And we can’t really ask anybody else in our company for this,” Hwang grabs their attention, his voice cutting through the cold air, “we’ve only got you and J.Dice, and the rest are rookies. We thought about debuting our soon-to-be girl group faster, but they’re still unprepared.”

“You’re basically saying…” Jaehwan trails off, as if he himself is afraid to finish his own sentence.

“I’m asking you to pretend to be in a relationship with Wonshik, for the sake of his reputation.”

Like a clichéd movie, Kim Wonshik himself steps in the room, in a hustle of a worn jacket and a snapback. Jaehwan would’ve called him lame, but he sees the designer clothes he’s wearing under that he sets his remark aside for now. Besides, he can already feel Hakyeon’s stare for him to shut up.

“It’s- I’m not saying anything yet,” Jaehwan returns his attention to Hwang, “but it’s not like he’s really the one in the photos, right?”

“No,” Hwang shakes his head, “We already had Wonshik ran under a drug test, and he was found clean. He had conflicting schedules too, in the aforementioned dates in rumours. But that’s hard to prove especially since they can pull the fact that they were older photos.”

Wonshik settles in the couch across, pulling down the hood of his jacket and snapback. He makes a gruff noise, before also tearing off his jacket and revealing a, well, who’s Jaehwan to judge when he sees a man wearing a Dolce & Gabbana shirt.

“Sajangnim,” he grunts as he pushes his messy black hair back, catching Jaehwan’s attention too much, “I haven’t agreed to this.”

“I’m not deciding anything,” Hwang dismisses, waving his hand, “this is merely my proposition.”

“ _Sajangnim_ -“ Jaehwan tries this time, going first before Wonshik gets to say anything, “do I really _have_ to take part in this?”

“Jaehwan,” with a sigh, the CEO takes his glasses off, and pinches the bridge of his nose, “you’re literally all we could ask for help. You have a good reputation and you’re from the same company. If people learn that you two were, let’s say, have been dating for a time, all suspicions will fall down.”

“Okay, sure. The girlfriend issue is done. But the drugs?”

“Drug test results. You’re just the independent variable,” Hakyeon suddenly speaks up, with his arms folded and legs crossed, looking tired of this talk already.

“And- And you’re absolutely fine if the public learns that-“ Jaehwan pauses, squinting in the slightest, “that, we’re gay? Because if Wonshik-ssi and I were to really pretend, then that’ll automatically make us, you know, outed homosexuals.”

“Aren’t you?” Taekwoon quips, before groaning quietly. Hakyeon must’ve pinched him in the side.

“Jaehwan-ssi,” Wonshik suddenly calls, his low voice reverberating in the cold room. It’s a lot deeper than how he sounds in his songs, and it throws Jaehwan off a little. “I don’t- I _really_ don’t have a lot of choices in this situation. And I myself, don’t know if this idea is going to work. But it’s the best.

“Originally, my plan was just to post a letter on Instagram,” he continues, once again helplessly brushing back his hair as if it’s an unbreakable habit, mouth running off as if he couldn’t care so much, “but, we’ve been told that news channels are already picking this information up, and an Instagram letter suddenly felt futile.”

 _God_ \- Somehow, Jaehwan wishes he’s having his wrongly ordered sour hibiscus tea right now- fits just right his mood.

Hwang clears his throat, pulling his lips to a straight line, “like I said, this isn’t a decision for me to make.”

Softly, Jaehwan blows air out his nose, staring down the carpeted floor as he thinks. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him, and he almost regrets glancing up when he sees Wonshik stare on him. Annoyance? Impatience? He’s got no time for this.

On one hand, he’ll be helping not only Wonshik, but also the company’s reputation, so he can see their CEO’s being so adamant about his proposal.

Yet on another hand, Jaehwan, while he may be a great actor despite being debuted as a solo artist, he doesn’t know how it’ll be when he will be doing it for the eyes of the public and _live_.

He’s not hesitant for himself, for his reputation – to hell being outed as gay, he’s pretty sure K-Netizens have already figured that out a long time ago anyway – but, quietly, he’s afraid of messing up.

Being such a young artist he’s made so many reckless decisions, only getting lucky to have positive outcomes. This time, however, there’s somebody else involved. And a whole company.

And this is how it ends: Lee Jaehwan agrees to pretend as Kim Wonshik’s boyfriend.

::

_ii. capriccio farce_

Kim Wonshik is ticked, to say the least.

He, for one, had already constructed a draft of his letter that he was planning to post on Instagram – a heartfelt one, too, at that. Two- God, fate just hates him or something and everything comes crashing down when he least expects it-

“Where to?”

Wonshik almost bangs his head on the roof of the car when he was just about to step in, and he turns around, every muscle of his face holding back on looking sour.

“Why are you here?”

It’s quite a little too warm for an afternoon stroll, and Wonshik doesn’t really want to stand under the orange sun having a stare with Lee Jaehwan.

“We need to talk,” Jaehwan says, shifting his weight from his left foot to the other, “I didn’t agree to play house and that’s it.”

“Do we really have to talk about it _right now_?”

Jaehwan doesn’t say anything, just standing there with his crossed arms and squinted eyes.

Sighing, Wonshik climbs in, pushing himself so Jaehwan can sit inside.

“To Eunkwang’s studio- Oh?”

“Hongbin, cancel my plans with Eunkwang,” Wonshik all but groans, already taking his phone out to mindlessly scroll through his social media.

“Okay…” Hongbin says slowly, watching them carefully through the mirror, then he sees Jaehwan, with a bitter face and eyebrows hanging low. “Hello,” he tries to greet anyway, first impressions and all, “I’m Wonshik’s manager, Hongbin. Where are we off to?”

Silently, Jaehwan stares back at him, and waits. When he realises Wonshik isn’t going to answer the question, he mutters a low, “the nearest uncrowded café.”

 _Of course Jaehwan would opt for a café –_ as if it wasn’t obvious already for Wonshik that he looks pissy about his expensive drinks. Even now, when Jaehwan’s just a foot apart and he’s quiet, Wonshik can feel his dislike radiating inside the car.

It doesn’t help that the space is small and cramped, with the aircon barely turned up and Hongbin’s staying silent.

“You didn’t really need to agree,” Wonshik says after a while, eyes never leaving his phone. He’s currently scrolling to his Twitter timeline, his _very dry_ Twitter timeline, before he gets bored, and decides that their talk might as well start right now.

“I really didn’t,” Jaehwan replies shortly, looking out the window with his hand on his face, distracted by the view of Seoul outside.

“Then why did you?”

Silence, as always, as if the other finds everything else worth giving attention about besides Wonshik.

“You know,” suddenly, Jaehwan pulls away from the window, hands thrown inside the pockets of his jacket, “I’ll be very honest; I don’t exactly find you pleasing as a person, Wonshik-ssi.” Hongbin swerves, and now they’re slowly reversing to a parking space on a nameless café. “But I don’t want anyone bringing the company reputation down, even if costs me playing dollhouse with you.”

“We’re here,” Hongbin nonchalantly announces, as if Jaehwan hasn’t just said any of those words.

“Let’s talk more inside,” just like that, Jaehwan steps out the car and slams the door, leaving him astounded and frankly, even more annoyed.

As for his list from earlier, the one he was heatedly enumerating before Jaehwan interrupted him: three, he really had to pretend to be _in love_ to someone like Lee Jaehwan, Jellyfish Entertainment’s current number one artist, embarrassing fangirls magnet, and possibly, South Korea’s most entitled celebrity.

::

Usually, Jaehwan would choose something sweet, like caramel, but after the sudden drop of his mood, looks like a ‘Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew’ will fit just right.

(If someone asks how it tastes, Jaehwan will rest assure immediately it’s _absolutely_ bitter. Sweet cream his ass. False advertising in this day and age!)

The café they’re in truly is uncrowded, and eases Jaehwan off a bit, settling down in a corner of the room, where newcomers won’t see two famous people having a talk-off.

When he looks up from his phone, distractedly playing a Japanese mobile game, he sees Wonshik back with a ‘White Chocolate Mocha Frappuccino’ and his lips pulled into a frown.

“And so? What else do you want to say that you needed me to cancel my afternoon plans?” Wonshik utters gruffly, looking already bored and would rather be somewhere else.

“Rules. We need to establish rules.”

“And those rules are?”

“One, you’re only allowed to hold hands with me in public when someone’s watching. _No kissing_. Even if they ask for us to,” Jaehwan pauses, to take a sip from his drink, before continuing, “two, if they ask you since when were we dating, Sajangnim told me to say a years back already; so, if they ask you in an interview, tell them about three years ago, or something. Three-“

“Why are you so intricate about this?” Wonshik interrupts, eyes lazy as he watches Jaehwan run his mouth off.

“I wish I wasn’t,” Jaehwan quips, looking just as bored as Wonshik, “but I’m involved and I need to _you_ to cooperate since you’re dragging me into this. My face to the public will soon rely on this situation _so_ much.”

Wonshik doesn’t say anything, and watches him instead, staring back at his angry eyes.

“Anyway, three, we’re gonna need to call each other without '–ssi’s, so drop it when you feel ears on us. Also, I need to know what your schedule is, so make sure to tell Hongbin to tell my manager so we can arrange a fake date.”

“A fake date?”

“Like right now,” Jaehwan quickly snaps a photo of them, with Wonshik’s brows furrowed and Jaehwan smiling goofily to the camera, “I can post this photo on Instagram, just to let people on the fact that we know each other.”

“Didn’t the company say they’ll release the news later this week anyway?” Wonshik somehow can’t grasp Jaehwan’s… Dedication? “Why bother?”

“I know,” nodding, almost as if non-committedly, before taking a selfie with another smile. “But it’s better if we start to move now, unless, well, you want to stay longer in your scandal.”

For some reason, and it irks Jaehwan very much, thank you, that Wonshik can’t just seem to take this situation seriously, as if he’s not really giving a shit on what they’re going to be doing in _public_ , as if his whole career is not relying on this situation at all.

“God… You’re so annoying,” Wonshik mumbles under his breath, and he sees Jaehwan’s fake smile from earlier grow bigger and even more plastic.

“Thanks! I like honesty in relationships, so you’re doing great already!”

Just for his career, just for the company. He’ll endure this.

::

“A date already?” Hakyeon queries a few days later, looking up from his iPad as he looks at Jaehwan getting ready immediately when his last schedule just finished.

“Yeah, Wonshik-ssi told me that he’s free this evening, so it’s our chance to have the public see us together eating dinner.”

“’Wonshik-ssi’?” Jaehwan already doesn’t like the way Hakyeon says that. “Why do you call your boyfriend with ‘-ssi’?”

He faces him, his coat’s collar unfixed and his hair still messy, “why don’t you choke on a dick?”

Hakyeon’s eyes light up on his quip, before he grins and yells, “Taekwoon! Come here and let me-“

“Shut up!”

::

Right, a date.

It’s the first time Jaehwan’s going out on a date indiscreetly, wearing one of his strange designer shirts and pants; he also let one of the last stylists that was around to do his hair, his blonde hair swept up and looking absolutely like a Greek god. Basically screaming, ‘hey, look at me!’.

The restaurant they chose too, a little too high-end for a quiet date; but hey, if Jaehwan’s got the chance to splurge on money unnecessarily, especially money he doesn’t own, then he will.

Hakyeon stops the car, and he sees him and Taekwoon looking at him expectantly. Oh, they’re here.

“Well, go enjoy your date with your boyfriend,” Hakyeon once again cracks, and he hears Taekwoon muffle a laugh.

“I hope you two won’t be able to sleep properly tonight,” and Jaehwan _means_ it. He didn’t sign up for this clownery.

“Oh- we really won’t.”

Uh.

Huh.

“Hakyeon!” Taekwoon chides, making Hakyeon double-over on the steering wheel.

Lee Jaehwan really didn’t sign up for this.

Intimidating. Like a big square box, with pretty fairy lights and faux flora decorating the railing of the building’s veranda. There’s a stairway that leads towards the entrance, and Jaehwan can see the extravagantly decorated tables inside.

And there, waiting for him outside, standing under the dark and hiding from the restaurant’s dim illumination, is Wonshik.

“What are you doing there?” Jaehwan asks as he comes closer, trying to make out Wonshik in the dark.

“Standing for a long time because of your slow ass,” Wonshik answers, before coming out of the shadows and somehow, looks like Jaehwan isn’t the only one dressed up tonight.

Dressed in a cashmere turtleneck sweater and jacket, tight jeans, and a pair of glasses to top it all off, Jaehwan thinks he’ll enjoy looking at him better now compared to what he called the “Homeless appearance” from before.

“Great thing you tried this time,” he remarks, and sees Wonshik offering his arm almost hesitantly.

Jaehwan grudgingly hooks his arm around his, and they walk towards the reception.

It’s already looking fancy enough from just the entrance, and entering the cold interior of the restaurant brings shivers down Jaehwan’s sides.

“Table for two, under the name Kim Wonshik,” the other says coolly, and Jaehwan’s… Confused. It’s either the Wonshik he met a few days ago was his sadder twin or he’s hiding some depressing personality issue.

There’s some shuffling, and they wait until a waiter comes to take them to their table.

The place Wonshik chose for them is located near the window, where Jaehwan can see the purple evening sky slowly spread. He likes it a little.

“Wow, expensive,” Jaehwan whistles as he folds open the lavish menu they were given, as he sees that no item is less than ₩30,000. There’s a variety of full course dishes, even a vegetarian menu.

“Let’s just order one of the set menus,” Wonshik suggests, reading through the listed sets. “I quite like the Beef Ribs course. Is that fine?”

“Oh, yes, I like meat a lot. I prefer this better than the other ones.” Somehow, all the thick tension in the air from last time had dissipated, and Jaehwan doesn’t know if that’s better. “For our drinks- what are we having?”

“Matchsoon,” Wonshik reads, lightly and fascinated, “it’s fruit liquor made with soju and has ripe Asian apricots.”

“Okay, let’s have that.”

They call for a waiter, and Jaehwan animatedly tells her their order.

_Beef ribs! Beef ribs! Beef ribs! Beef ribs!_

“You’re less annoying today,” Wonshik comments as he watches Jaehwan smiling happily to his phone. He does seem less… Irritable and… Cuter… Yeah, as if he’ll be in any way cute in Wonshik’s eyes.

“Because you also are, surprisingly,” Jaehwan retorts, eyes searching for his Snow app. “Can you try to smile better this time?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Jaehwan takes his time this round, sorting through different stickers and actually letting Wonshik make himself look good for the camera.

“Did you already post the one you took from last time?” Wonshik inquires as he sees Jaehwan excitingly post it to his social medias.

Truth is, he doesn’t know, actually if he should be really be trusting Jaehwan about this, letting him take control before the company actually releases official news.

“I did,” Jaehwan replies, looking up, “do you think it’s too early to call you my boyfriend in Instagram captions yet?”

The younger shrugs, his glasses falling down the bridge his nose along the movement and Jaehwan finds himself enjoying that too much. “It’s not like I have any actual control in what you’ll be posting.”

“Sure,” Jaehwan taps on the selfies that passed his tastes, before typing the caption with a snarky look.

“Okay, that doesn’t look too good,” pulling his lips to a tight line, Wonshik adjusts himself on his seat, carefully looking at Jaehwan.

“ _Out on night wid my cutie-cutie boyfie uwu!_ ”

Wonshik almost chokes on his spit, and he looks at Jaehwan, alarmed.

“No thanks, I’d rather get hit by my manager’s car before I post that,” Jaehwan deadpans immediately after he sees the reaction he wanted.

He looks around the restaurant, looking at the other customers. There’s a Chinese family of at least seven in luxurious clothes dining at the long table to the far end of their spot, and to their right are men clad in suits and obviously having a business meeting. Somehow, they look absolutely out of place. (Wonshik’s wallet, however, fits just right in.)

“So what did you say?” Wonshik tries again, clearing his throat as a server comes by to serve their appetiser – special porridge, sautéed vegetables wrapped in pancakes, and seasonal vegetable delights. He already feels full just by the sight of them and it’s _just_ the start.

“You’re a big eater, right?” Jaehwan ignores his right through his question, and picks up the metal chopsticks placed by his side. “I mean, I can eat more than half of this by myself but, since _you’re_ paying, we gotta share.”

“The fuck?” The other grumbles, picking up his own pair, “since when did I say I will pay?”

“Your wallet told me,” Jaehwan slyly grins, as he pops one of the pan-fried delicacies into his mouth. He chews, and Wonshik swears he sees his eyes shining as Jaehwan lets out a low moan. “Holy shit, Wonshik, this is _good_!”

Right, in public, dropping the honorifics. Snuffling, Wonshik tries one of the cut-up vegetables that were decorated stylishly.

“Tastes like…” He starts to say, and he feels Jaehwan’s eyes on him, waiting for what’ll he say next. “Tastes like vegetable.”

“Ugh,” Jaehwan rolls his eyes, before trying the cut-up vegetables himself, “you’re no food connoisseur. Reason number one-thousand-thirty-nine why I wouldn’t really date you.”

“Will you answer my question?” Wonshik brings up again as he picks up one of the pancakes, looking at its golden brown bread and imagining how they managed to fit greens inside it.

“Oh, the Instagram caption?” Blowing gently, Jaehwan brings his spoon to try some of the porridge, and he goggles once again when the sweet soup fills his mouth. “I just put a purple heart and nothing else. I didn’t tag you or anything”

“Playing safe.”

“Mhmm.”

Words are very useless right now, as a server just came by to serve their main dishes, and there are at least _five_ plates on their table right now. At least the table’s big enough. The Matchsoon gets served too, and they let the server pour him and Jaehwan a glass.

“It’s not like we can’t take home some of this stuff if we can’t finish some of it,” Jaehwan points out as he reaches to place some grilled beef to his plate. “They don’t look much stomach-filling anyway.”

“How do you even remain your weight when you act like you pig out so much?” Wonshik voices out, dropping some of the glass noodles to his own plate. It looks so pretty, with the sautéed vegetables decorating it, and with the restaurant’s bright indoor lighting it looks like glass indeed.

“I burn them all off the next day,” Jaehwan replies, contently chewing the beef and enjoying its marinated taste. Smokey and sweet, he feels himself somehow getting dizzy from all this good food. He takes his wine glass, and sips, he _needs_ it.

Oh wow, even this adult fruit juice tastes expensive.

Their chatter calms down again, and they really need to pat themselves on the shoulder for having a relaxed and decent conversation at least in public.

Jaehwan really expected to get annoyed at Wonshik fast again this evening, but he’s very much surprised at how the latter brought himself tonight. Somehow, he can kind of understand now how people found him attractive. (Not that he does.)

Or maybe, well- Maybe it’s just the heavenly food they’re feasting on that’s calming his nerves down, since it’s been a while since Jaehwan had dinner in a high-end restaurant like this and actually enjoyed the experience.

Their food slowly lessens, and the soju, although already getting down to halfway, was surprisingly very light and Jaehwan doesn’t feel any effect on him at all. Wonshik too, looks unbothered and he keeps chowing down his food with no redness in face, so it’s all good.

His phone suddenly vibrates, cutting his train of thoughts, and sees a text from Taekwoon.

 **Jung Taekwoonie** **  
**Hakyeon said to be careful.  
        _7:49PM_

Okay. Cryptid.

 **You** **  
**??????????  
        _7:49PM_

Taekwoon’s reply comes fast, unusual, and it makes Jaehwan’s heartbeat skip a second faster.

 **Jung Taekwoonie** **  
**Check your Instagram.  
        _7:49PM_

He glances at Wonshik, who’s currently nodding to himself as he’s munching on the braised fish that somehow was part of a beef menu. Slowly, he taps on his Instagram app, and does it _lag_ so badly that it crashes the moment he opened it.

“What the hell…”

“What’s wrong?” Wonshik checks up on him, his glasses glinting brightly against the chandelier lights above.

“My manager’s assistant just texted me,” Jaehwan supplies, lips forming to a pout as he tries to open his Instagram app again, only for it force close immediately again, “that I should check Instagram. But it won’t open. I’m sure I just updated it a few days ago.”

“Let me try.” The younger brings his own phone out, briefly typing his pin and taps on his Instagram app. It opens smoothly and stays. “It’s not crashing for me,” he says as he shows his timeline.

“May I?” Jaehwan sticks his hand out, and Wonshik gives him his phone. He watches him type his username to the search bar, and Jaehwan gradually widens his eyes.

“What’s up?” Now he’s getting worried. Not that he really should be, but he _is_ , and he’s afraid to think that it’s got anything to do with their selfie earlier.

“Five hundred,” Jaehwan exhales, eyebrows shooting up as he looks at Wonshik’s phone with a distinguished look.

“What five hundred? Five hundred people already liked it? Don’t you have more followers than that?”

“God, you are _so_ dumb,” Jaehwan groans, passing his phone back to him. It was left on the post and Wonshik himself feels his own eyes get bigger. “Five hundred _thousand_.”

“Now, I may have reached numbers like this before,” he continues while wagging his index finger. Wonshik doesn’t look at him either way. “But I literally just posted that about forty-five minutes ago. It never reaches that _that_ fast.”

“Have you read the comments?” Wonshik asks, before tapping the ‘see all comments’ option.

Some people replied with strings of heart emojis too, and some were wishing them to have a good evening.

“Yeah,” he hears Jaehwan tell him distantly, “most of them, well, they nailed us on the spot right from the start.”

Just like what Jaehwan said, there… There really are a lot of people already catching up on what’s happening behind the photo.

He sees some people replying with double eye emojis, some foreigners yelling in caps and English (Wonshik sees the words “date” and “going out” so that’s more than enough to make him also assume it’s people who already figured out their ‘status’).

“That’s why your Instagram was crashing,” Wonshik laughs when he sets his phone aside again, back to digging in with their dinner.

“Looks like I won’t be able to open it in the next few days,” Jaehwan sighs as he hangs his head tiredly, “I’ll make sure to disable the notifications next time.”

“Are you even an idol if you have it on?” The other snorts, before taking a bite of his grilled beef.

“Shut up. I turned it on temporarily when I was talking to a friend.”

Not too long, they finished off every plate, sparkly clean save for a few bits that they can’t pick up with their chopsticks. Dessert was served faster, a square fruit tart, a beautifully designed truffle, and an apple slice that has been fancily cut.

“Wow, look at all these sugar,” the older comments, picking his fork up to impale the tart. “My manager would have my head if he learns I’ll eat this much.”

“Looks like you’re staying longer in the dance practice rooms,” Wonshik quips, popping the chocolate truffle first into his mouth. “ _Christ_ , even this expensive cacao cube tastes godly. What the hell is this restaurant?”

“Exactly,” Jaehwan points his fork at him, agreeing as he tries the truffle next, moaning again appreciatively as the chocolate melts into his mouth just right. It had white chocolate shavings wrapped around it, so the dark chocolate inside blends harmoniously with the white chocolate. “I’ll probably be staying in the gym for a good three to five hours, then I’ll spend the rest of the afternoon tomorrow locked up and dancing.”

“That’ll make the two of us,” Wonshik huffs, and he finally bites on the apple slice, their last delicacy for this evening. Jaehwan was right, it might’ve looked so much but they all filled their stomachs exactly.

Jaehwan looks at him as he chews on his own slice, watching Wonshik silently as the latter stares back at him.

“What?”

“You’re annoying but I found this pleasant, actually,” Jaehwan admits, wiping his lips with the napkin.

“Did you really find me pleasant or was it the food?”

“Maybe the food.”

(Later, when they asked for the bill, Jaehwan didn’t dare to even touch it. The sullen look in Wonshik’s eyes already says a lot.

“How much is it?”

“More expensive than you.”

“… Excuse me?”

“₩108,000.”)

::

“I got to say,” Wonshik speaks up when they’re standing outside his car in front of Jaehwan’s luxurious apartment building, letting Hongbin wait inside patiently. “You can be less annoying when you try to.”

“I can say the same for you, thank you,” Jaehwan gives him a smile, looking all plastic as it never reaches his eyes. Then he blinks his eyes open, and Jaehwan suddenly looks pointedly at him. “If this keeps up then the public will really confirm that we are dating. Just keep pretending as if you didn’t know of the rumours yourself and act as if you, actually, like being in my presence.”

Truly, if the likes on Jaehwan’s Instagram post wasn’t already saying a warning.

“You’ll- _We’ll_ probably get journalists and all those annoying writers shoved in our faces first thing in the morning, so if I were you, I’d dress like the homeless again.”

“I did not dress like a homeless person-“

“And one more thing,” Jaehwan was about to start walking inside when he turns back, “thanks for today.”

He really likes having the last say on everything, huh.

Wonshik sniffs, before climbing in the car and makes Hongbin pause the game he was playing.

“So how was the date?” Hongbin asks as he brings the car back to life.

“Food was great,” Wonshik replies, looking somewhere else but the front. His eyes are glued to Jaehwan’s expensive choice of living, judgingly. As if Jaehwan had the audacity to call him rich when he’s loaded enough to live in a place like this (not that Wonshik isn’t living in the same, just as fancy flat).

“But your boyfriend?” He _knows_ he shouldn’t take the bait, but Hongbin just sounds so irritating that Wonshik immediately barks right back at him.

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“Korean news articles suspect otherwise,” Hongbin goes on, whistling as the car finally starts moving.

“Go die.”

“If I die right now you’ll die with me, you know.”

“Sounds good.”

::

What Jaehwan didn’t expect, however, was suddenly being invited to Radio Star about four days after his so-called “date” with Wonshik.

It looks fishy already, since last time he guested there he mostly succumbed to endless teasing that Hakyeon never heard the end of it.

“You’re accepting it, right?” Hakyeon confirms, already ready to reply to the email.

“Of course I am,” Jaehwan snorts, wiping sweat from his forehead. “They’re too obvious but I’ll bite since this is a good opportunity. _God_ , it’s so fucking hot,” he looks around, searching for the remote of the aircon. “Taekwoon hyung, where’s the remote?”

He hears a couple of beeps, and the room gradually grows colder.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Taekwoon’s voice is _not_ supposed to sound that deep.

Jaehwan whips his head around, and lo and behold, there is Kim Wonshik standing there looking (in Jaehwan’s dictionary) homeless once again and holding the aircon remote. He must’ve taken it from its holder beside the door.

“Why are you here?” He clicks his tongue off, not really in the mood to see Wonshik at the moment.

“I… Work here?” Wonshik trails off, distantly looking at Jaehwan from the entrance of practice room. He catches Hakyeon’s stare from his couch in the side of the room, and subconsciously nods his head. “I was just passing by.”

“Right, you work here,” Jaehwan confirms, nodding his head along as he speaks, “forgot you actually have a job.”

“What now?” The younger furrows his brows, squinting his eyes as he watches Jaehwan go back to stretching. Somehow, Jaehwan’s back to being a bitch at everything.

Suddenly, Jaehwan stops stretching and he turns to him, lips pressed to an ‘o’.

“By the way,” he starts, perching one of his hands on his hips, “Radio Star sent me an email asking me to guest in their show. We guessed it’s probably going to be related to the fact that we’re ‘dating’.”

“And? What am I gonna do about it?” Annoyed at Jaehwan for being cross with him again when he hasn’t really done anything, he couldn’t help but try to get back.

“Just wanted to tell you,” Jaehwan rolls his eyes, before going back into his last stretching pose. “In case, you know, you end up freaking out why I’m suddenly waxing poetic about my scripted love for you.”

Wonshik doesn’t anything else, but he does catch Hakyeon looking apologetically at him.

::

The lighting is _way_ too bright.

“Jaehwan-ah,” one of the hosts calls for his attention, and Jaehwan had to squint to properly look at him. “Tell us about your recent activities these past few days.”

There’s already the underlying message obvious and thick in the air. Jaehwan can feel all their expectant stares in them and he wishes for all their prying asses to go fall in a ditch.

“Well!” He claps his hands, immediately wearing a bright smile, “recently I went out to have dinner with my boyfriend, and we had a fantastic Beef Ribs set!”

“Boyfriend?” One of them – god, what was his name, Jaehwan didn’t even bother – pipes up, sounding intrigued and very much interested.

“Yes!” Jaehwan smiles towards him, and he lets his hands rest on his lap, “I’ve posted a selfie of my boyfriend and I while we were waiting for our food in Instagram a few days ago!”

“Let us see, let us see?”

Jaehwan irritatingly pulls out his phone from his pocket (he hides it well, however) and opens Instagram, showing them the selfie of him and Wonshik in the fancy restaurant. Just looking at the interior in the background makes Jaehwan wish to come back again.

“Ravi?” The guy holding his phone – he looks like his high school teacher – asks, as if he’s not believing his ears and eyes, “Kim Wonshik? J.Dice’s main rapper?”

“Mhmm!” Oh god, here comes the part he tried to practice in the bathroom and ended up pissing himself laughing to hard at how embarrassingly gross he sounds. “He’s the _sweetest_ boyfriend and he invited me to have dinner in an expensive restaurant where he paid all the bills.”

“Jaehwan-ah, how long have you been together? How come you’re only telling us this now?”

“About three? We started seeing each other around the time I released my second album, if I recall correctly. And Wonshik and I decided it’s useless hiding our relationship and it’s making our meetings harder if we tried to be discreet, so, here we are.”

Just smile. Just smile and nod.

“ _Wow_ I never thought you two would ever become a couple,” another one comments, as they nod to each other and agree on it, “you and Ravi-ah are too different.”

“Yeah,” one seconds loudly, “Ravi-ah is like, all hip-hop,” he says while making rapping gestures, “and you, Jaehwan-ah, you look too cute for a guy as rough looking like him.”

“We go so well together,” lies, lies, lies. Jaehwan keeps lying through his teeth and smiles, “he may look scary but he’s really gentle and kind.”

“Ah _hh_ , you’re right. Who are we to question your chemistry?”

Literally nobody.

::

_Good evening,_

_This is Jellyfish Entertainment. We are here to release an official statement that Lee Jaehwan is indeed in a relationship with Ravi, J.Dice’s main rapper. The two have decided to come out in public as they’ve come to a conclusion that they didn’t want to hide their intimacy anymore._

_We will not accept any reporter or journalist that will storm into our building without making appointments prior. Thank you for your support in our company all this time._

_Thank you._

::

“Oh, Jaehwan,” Taekwoon calls, looking up from his phone when Jaehwan passes by his seat.

They’re currently in the dressing room in one of Jaehwan’s new album’s teaser sets, and they’re waiting for the crew to change the set so they can proceed to the next scene.

“What’s up?” Jaehwan plops down next to the older, sighing as the couch eases off his back pain even in the slightest.

“Hakyeon texted me,” the other continues, voice soft and slow. Hakyeon is nowhere to be found right now, probably off buying croissants and lattes. “He told me Wonshik got invited to Idol Room.”

Idol room, huh? Well, good luck with that.

It’s been about two or three weeks since his guesting in Radio Star and currently, they’re still in the top ten most searched in Naver. Most of the posts he’s seeing on Twitter are his fans making threads of ‘evidences’ of them dating, and he had to chuckle to himself whenever he sees a tweet reading too much into the most coincidental interaction.

“Well?” Taekwoon speaks up, and he makes Jaehwan snap out from doing a monologue in his head.

“Well what?”

“Well, what do you plan to do now?” Jaehwan looks at Taekwoon, confused, not clearly understanding what he means. “I mean, you can’t just announce your relationship to the public and that’s just it. It’s going to get even worse from now.”

“Hyung-“

“You _know_ I know. Dispatch probably already has a folder full of your date with Wonshik from last month, and they’re just waiting for you two to go out again before they release the photos in the net. Those strange entertainment news sites are suspicious too, and they’re probably just looking out if the two you will make the wrong move.”

“Okay, Taekwoon hyung, listen,” he pats his arm comfortingly, understanding his worries. “You know this isn’t really serious, right? It’ll be all over soon, we’ll stage a break-up, or something. We just need to wait for Wonshik’s rumours to be completely gone so he’s in the clear.”

Taekwoon nods, looking dejected and worried, still. Jaehwan can’t really blame him, after what happened to him and Hakyeon in the past. Not like he’s in any position to talk about it, but he _does_ know that idols dating in general and being in public is a dangerous thing.

“Thanks, hyung,” he gives him a hug, appreciating at least. If Taekwoon loved the hug, he made sure to make no expression to show that he did.

::

Wonshik surprises Jaehwan a week later, showing up with a bouquet of flowers and a staged smile, in the middle of his music video shooting.

The bouquet consists of multiple colour variations of sweet peas – purple, pink, and white – while wrapped in yellow, soft paper.

“What's this for?” Jaehwan comes up to him, stepping out of the camera despite currently shooting a scene.

“A congratulations for you,” Wonshik says with a small smile, showing Jaehwan his relaxed eyes that's not obstructed by his glasses this time.

Jaehwan finds himself liking Wonshik's eyes a lot, actually. Round and curved just right that it gives him an innocent expression when he makes certain expressions. Something you'd really not expect a person like Wonshik would have.

“Congratulations for?” He gently takes the bouquet into his hand, a grin growing on his face as he inhales the sweet fragrance.

“Your new album,” the younger points out, before bringing out his phone. They can feel everyone's eyes trained on them, most likely just as shell-shocked as Jaehwan. All the more motivation to continue the play. “Come on, baby, let me take a photo of you.”

The nickname catches Jaehwan off guard even more, and he snaps his head away from Wonshik to hide the unnecessary red high on his cheeks.

He steals a glance, and he sees Wonshik biting down a laugh. Dickwad. Jaehwan smiles nonetheless, holding bouquet higher and pretending to be the happiest just because of this.

Later, in the private of Jaehwan's dressing room, where Wonshik's waiting for him, fiddling with his phone as always, patient and calm.

“What was that really for?” He queries as he shuts the door, finally comfortable now that it’s just the two of them and he didn’t need to keep the cute boyfriend act any longer.

“Huh?” Wonshik looks up from his phone, eyes muddled and distracted.

The older sits next to him on the couch, catching sight of Wonshik’s Twitter timeline. “Did you post it?”

“Oh,” Wonshik nods shortly, non-committed, “I did.”

“What did they say?”

“That you look cute, apparently.”

Jaehwan pinches his side, making Wonshik yelp in pain.

“The fuck, Jaehwan!” He seethes, and gives Jaehwan a stink eye. _Just_ when he actually tried to be decent-

“I _am_ cute,” Jaehwan fusses, poking his side again, “at least, I don’t need to try to be cute like you. Naturally born cutie-pie.”

“Right,” the other grumbles, already ignoring half of what Jaehwan starts to say. (He doesn’t miss though, the cute faces Jaehwan starts making at him.)

“You are so uncute,” he hears him continue, sagging his body on the couch when he realises Wonshik won’t spare him another glance. “At least the flowers were cute.” As he says the words, he blinks open his eyes again as he remembers what he was supposed to be asking. “Hey, the flowers- What were they really for?”

Wonshik side-eyes him, barely tearing his attention from whatever timeline he’s scrolling. “Didn’t I already say they’re congratulatory flowers for your new album?”

“Is that really it?” Jaehwan gives him cheshire grin, amused and his cheeks are a little pink, actually, and Wonshik finds the colour on his face a little nice on him.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Yeah, oh.

He steals another look on Jaehwan, and he’s pleased to see the pink becoming a deeper red.

::

“Hello Counselor?”

Hakyeon doesn’t bother turning his head, and he just hums, distracted by Taekwoon’s drumming fingers against his shoulders.

“And they’re asking for me _and_ Wonshik?”

Another hum.

“Wow,” Jaehwan pauses his pacing around practice room, only stopping to sip his choice drink for today, a grande-sized ‘Strawberries and Cream Frappuccino’. He was actually supposed to go for venti like usual, but Hakyeon’s heavy stare on him as he lined up in the Starbucks queue said more danger than any angry dog that’s running free.

“I’ve already forwarded Hongbin the email in case he didn’t receive it, so they should be replying any minute now.”

Huh.

Jaehwan doesn’t exactly know if he’ll be excited for this – since obviously it’s because they became labeled as the nation’s first out homosexual idol couple – plus the fact that it’s going to be a talk show with hundreds of audiences watching their every move… It doesn’t sound exactly… Thrilling.

::

It went better than expected actually; if better means at least this time, Jaehwan didn’t get bombarded by personal questions and Wonshik’s there for support in case he gets too flustered.

Still, it’s _definitely_ not in Jaehwan’s list of shows where he can say he had a great time.

This time, the person asking for help was – surprise, surprise – a teenage boy around the age of 17 who’s dealing with a homophobic parent at home. He apparently already had a boyfriend since he was 16, and was just afraid to speak up unless he wanted to get disowned by his mother.

The whole thing was really stressful – since the mother, while not physically abusive, was somehow just really against the concept of homosexuality, and Jaehwan can _swear_ he can feel her eyes on them every time he or Wonshik talks, probably cursing them under her breath.

And while this relationship is entirely just a farce, Jaehwan’s appreciation for dick…

Well, now that’s not just a joke. Jaehwan could really use some good dicking in his life, thank you.

::

One time, on a cold night of August, and Jaehwan’s feeling a little sad, he ends up sneaking from Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s grasp, stumbling into one of the bars he frequents when it gets a little frustrating. He didn’t even bother changing from his last outfit – some fancy branded clothes that probably has a price tag heavier than his own weight.

He’s been a little too stressed recently, and there’s nothing new about it.

The pressure of his upcoming comeback is getting worse and worse, that sometimes Jaehwan couldn’t bother to eat and just go straight to practicing his choreography again.

While his agency wasn’t so harsh about his dancing even when he was still rookie, since he was, after all, not necessarily a six-membered K-Pop group and was more of a solo singer. He really only started branching out to more complex dancing two years ago.

Lifelessly, he sits onto one of the fancy sofa chairs by the bar counter, already feeling tired and needing alcohol in his system.

“I’ll have a Kamikaze, please.”

Needless to say, Jaehwan finds himself hanging by the world’s end after downing his drinks – his Kamikaze cocktail, and then he ordered a White Lady right after, and then a Moulin Rouge – so really, the sky’s the limit at this point tonight. His phone keeps vibrating in his pocket that he couldn’t bother to take out. Hakyeon should know by now that Jaehwan gets times like this and needed to be alone.

His vision’s already blurring out and spinning, the red-orange liquid of the cocktail swirling in front of him. Jaehwan could almost believe his eyes when he thinks it’s starting to seep out of the glass.

He’s busy inspecting the alcohol with his head perched on the marble bar counter, when his phone vibrates once again, longer this time, and Jaehwan can just already imagine Hakyeon talking his ear off when he doesn’t pick it up any sooner.

Dizzily, he whips his phone out, blinking blearily at the incoming call screen and swiping the answer option.

“Huh-hullo?” He slurs, blinking his eyes as he tries to fight the sleepiness in his eyes.

“ _Where are you?”_

That’s- That’s not Hakyeon.

“Wuhnsheek?” Jaehwan pulls his phone away from his ear to look at the caller ID, and indeed there is Wonshik’s cringe-worthy debut photo displayed.

“ _Where are you?_ ” Wonshik repeats, and Jaehwan almost hears the worry in his voice.

“Why? Do you _miss_ me?” He jokes, anyway, grinning to himself as he doesn’t hear Wonshik reply immediately.

“ _Your manager said he didn’t know where you are_ ,” the younger replies instead, firm and sounding unbothered. Phooey.

“Whas’sit to you on where I am?” Jaehwan quips, and he kinda realises how aggressive he’s already starting to sound, and he hopes it’ll make Wonshik back off and leave him alone.

“ _I’m worried_.”

And somehow, along with the swirling red-orange liquid of the Moulin Rouge in front of him, Jaehwan ends up having his messy emotions swirl into the moment, too. He feels tears already pricking at the corner of his eyes, helplessly unable to hold back feeling anything at Wonshik’s minimal concern.

So, softly, in the next five minutes, he mumbles the address of the bar he’s at.

Wonshik doesn’t take more than ten minutes and he comes in the bar, in one of his Gucci shirts and round glasses that doesn’t actually make him look out of place with his hasty entrance. He finds Jaehwan immediately sitting lonesome by the counter, head down and still.

“Jaehwan,” he gently calls, reaching out to touch his back and careful not to startle him too much.

The older slowly raises his head up, and Wonshik can see the puffiness of his eyes.

“Come on,” he continues, patting lightly his back and helps him up to stand from the sofa seat, “let’s get you home.”

(It turned out that Wonshik just commuted to pick him up, coming straight from his studio.

When Wonshik mentioned this, Jaehwan had to pretend he wasn’t curious why he was looking for him, or how did he even find out that he snuck off again. And Wonshik- Wonshik couldn’t hide his relief any better when Jaehwan didn’t say anything.

He drops him off his building, and he was supposed to already leave by then but Jaehwan’s wobbly walk makes him think otherwise and ends up helping him up to his flat, holding Jaehwan shakily by his arms and hobbling in the hallway.

Jaehwan turns around, and drunkenly gives him a hug, whisper-mumbling something to him that Wonshik didn’t hear with all the blood rushing to his ears.

“Good night,” Jaehwan tells him, eyes half-lidded and he’s sporting a lopsided grin, before closing the door and leaving Wonshik standing in the pale lighting of the hall.

A good night, huh.)

::

It’s three-thirty-six in the afternoon, and Jaehwan’s going nowhere by just staring at the ceiling of his flat and racking his brain for any ideas for his songs after his new album gets released.

He tried a song about one’s passed loved ones, but it didn’t end much anywhere and all he can think about was the lemon fruit and being a good metaphor for bitterness. He’ll get back to this idea one day.

For now, well. Jaehwan takes his phone beside his him, and opens his messaging app.

 **You** **  
**lets go out :)  
        _3:06PM_

 **homeless rapper** **  
**where?  
        _3:07PM_

 **You** **  
**i dont know. somewhere  
        noisy or something. my  
        place is too quiet  
        _3:07PM_

 **homeless rapper** **  
**go put on some music.  
        _3:08PM_

 **You  
**         no  
        _3:08PM_

 **You  
**         LISTEN  
        _3:08PM_

 **You** **  
**lets go!!!!!!! this your  
        opportunity to pretend  
        to be gay with me!!!!!!!  
        _3:08PM_

 **homeless rapper** **  
**be ready in thirty.  
        _3:08PM_

Jaehwan sighs and drops his phone on his desk, shamefully trying to hide himself from… Himself, for asking Wonshik that.

He’s really got nobody to bother, since Hakyeon and Taekwoon are away for some family stuff and they needed to be out of town for a few days. And even though Jaehwan, despite being a judgemental person and easy to find most people annoying, he does try to be friends with some people. It’s just that it looks like the feeling wasn’t mutual.

So Wonshik.

Where would they even go? At a park? Feeding ducks? Some shitty movie playing in the theatres starring overrated actors?

(Jaehwan checks the now showing list in the nearby malls, and he sees Lee Jong-suk has a movie showing at the moment and he might actually go see it by himself one time.)

It’s not even a real date but Jaehwan doesn’t like awkward meetings, and he needs to think quick before Wonshik arrives. Although, if this _is_ a date, it would considerably be their… Fifth one, maybe.

::

He didn’t think fast enough.

Wonshik’s ringing his door and Jaehwan’s standing in one of his designer shirts again (this time he’s wearing the one that costs around ₩300,000 or something) looking alarmed. This is the second time Wonshik’s visited his flat, the first time when he dropped Jaehwan off the other week when Jaehwan got pissed drunk.

“You’re here fast,” he says, anyway, as he swings the door open. Wonshik stands there in an oversized cream sweater, again with the glasses and looking actually passing his cute test.

“I did say thirty minutes,” Wonshik answers, looking around the place now that he’s seeing it for the first time in the bright afternoon light. “You’re just slow.”

“You haven’t been here for a minute and you’re already starting to annoy me, wow,” Jaehwan replies, adjusting his foot to his show, “trying to break the world record or something?”

“Yeah,” Wonshik sits on his couch, uninvited at that, whipping his phone out to play casual games as Jaehwan takes all the time to wear his shoes. “I’m trying to catch up to your world record of ‘the world’s shortest amount of patience’.”

“Shut up.”

“See? Witnessing a world record holder here.”

This is what he gets for inviting him – and while they are indeed bickering, and nothing new at that, Jaehwan quite likes it. At least it’s not awkward.

“Do you have any idea in mind already on where you’re taking me?” Wonshik queries as Jaehwan styles his hair. He watches the older sweep his bangs down, looking convincingly cute and innocent that it’ll fool anyone that he’s no snake.

“Actually no,” Jaehwan admits, before pouting and combing his hair again to another style.

“Great.”

::

“Here?”

“Well, you did say you wanted somewhere noisy.”

There are _children_ running in front of him, and he looks around to see if anyone will recognise them, since they’re probably in the most public place you can ever think of in the heart of Seoul.

Awfully enough, looks like nobody’s paying them attention, and just minds their business.

(A kid actually bumps into Wonshik’s legs when they’re walking, before the kid scurries off without even saying sorry to run towards the red-headed statue in the corner of the place.

“Look, Jaehwan,” Wonshik nods his head towards the statue, “since when did they put a statue of you there?”

“Wow,” Jaehwan actually stops his tracks, before raising a finger up, “okay. One, Fuck you; two, bold of you to compare me to a _god_ like Ronald McDonald.”)

“Hi, welcome to McDonald’s! What will be your order?” The woman in the cashier is chirping too happily, and Jaehwan wonders how she musters this when she greets hundreds upon hundreds of people every day. How did she even not recognise him… Well, it must be because of the mask and glasses he opted to wear today.

“I’ll have…” Jaehwan looks up at the menu, and sees a variety of items he hasn’t tried so much. The last time he had McDonald’s was probably… Two years ago? “I’ll have a ‘crispy chicken sandwich’.”

“With fries and drinks, sir?”

“Uh, yes. Both large. My drink will be coke.”

She presses numbers into the cashier swiftly, then saying, “that will be ₩3,000.”

Jaehwan hands her a ₩5,000 bill, and waits for the change. He quickly shoves all the change into his wallet before Wonshik steps up to say his order. His own meal gets served fast, and he takes the tray to go sit somewhere secluded (not entirely possible since they _are_ in McDonald’s).

There’s a spot in the side of the fast food place where there aren’t so many children, and he takes the chance to sit before any other family comes and takes it.

He sets the tray onto the plastic white table, and takes one of the freshly made fries.

 _Holy shit_.

Has… Has he had fries before? He can’t remember, wow, but- He takes another piece, and he almost jumps in his seat at how perfectly crispy it is and how it’s just rightly salted.

The sandwich he ordered sits pretty in white wrapping with scarlet text printed all over it saying ‘crispy chicken sandwich’. Alright, he got the message, it’s a crispy chicken sandwich.

Wonshik finds him soon enough, with his own tray.

“What’s that?” Jaehwan asks in fascination as Wonshik places the contents of the box he ordered onto a plastic box plate.

“What do you mean what’s that?” Wonshik looks at him, baffled, and he sees Jaehwan staring at his order curiously, “what’s this, you’ve never had McNuggets before?”

“I’ve had nuggets before, thank you,” the older says defensively, pulling his lips to frown, “I just never had _Mc_ Nuggets.”

“What the fuck.”

“Listen, the last time I ate here was probably two or three years ago.”

“What the fuck, Jaehwan.”

Without saying a word, Wonshik takes one of his nuggets, and dips it generously in the barbeque sauce. Instinctively, Jaehwan opens his mouth and lets Wonshik pop it inside. He chews, slowly, learning its taste and feeling its texture in his tongue.

“What the fuck,” he mutters this time, astonished. He faces up to meet Wonshik’s watchful stare, with his eyes wide and looking as if he just discovered a hidden treasure, “can I-“

“No,” Wonshik quickly denies, shielding his food away from Jaehwan’s hands.

“Why not?” Jaehwan whines, still trying to reach one more piece.

“I just let you try one because you’ve never had one before!” Wonshik chides as he munches on a nugget that makes Jaehwan very, very envious.

“Let me try another one!”

“No.”

“Come on.”

“You have your own food.”

“Just one.”

“No.”

“There’s eight more pieces!”

“Eight more pieces of my favourite.”

“ _Please_.”

Wonshik looks at him, who’s now pouting and being deceivingly cute.

“What do I get if I give you one?” He asks carefully, watching if Jaehwan’s hands will try to reach for a nugget again.

“You get my love!” Jaehwan suggests, making finger hearts at him.

“No thanks.”

Jaehwan’s pout gets even bigger, if that makes sense, and he ponders, before saying, “a kiss.”

“Excuse me?” Wonshik almost chokes on a fry (what’s up with Jaehwan and making him choke on every fucking date) and he pounds his chest, trying to get some air.

“A kiss, for a nugget,” Jaehwan says slowly, eyes staying firm on Wonshik’s gaze, and the next thing Wonshik sees is him already with a nugget in his hand and chewing with a satisfied face.

“… _Fuck you,_ ” the younger groans in defeat, already hating himself for falling into his trap.

(Later, Jaehwan finally tries the sandwich after he’s done savouring the McNugget.

His fingers deftly unwrap the sandwich and he raises it above his head to inspect it.

“It’s just a big chicken fillet in a sandwich, Jaehwan, ” Wonshik tells him, already exasperated from Jaehwan marvelling at every item.

The other finally takes a bite, and he’s got a bit of mayonnaise on the side of his mouth that Wonshik couldn’t help but wipe with his thumb.

“Oh my god!” Jaehwan exclaims after consuming his first bite, “this is like, just one big chicken nugget in a sandwich!”

Wonshik howls a laugh, before nibbling another nugget. “You’re right, you’re absolutely right. Chicken fillets are definitely just one big chicken nugget.”)

::

“I can see it – take your bet,” Wonshik starts as he’s walking Jaehwan back to his building, “those Korean entertainment articles aimed for foreign fans. You’ll headline, with the title, ‘Lee Jaehwan’s first time experience at McDonald’s’.”

“It’s not my first time at McDonald’s!” Jaehwan retorts once more, trying to look angry. He presses his lips to another pout, clearly different from how he really looks like when he’s mad (since, of course, Wonshik already had a couple first-hand experiences).

“Sure. It’s gonna be, ‘Lee Jaehwan’s first time trying out the legendary McNuggets’.”

“That’s not really a better change, but I appreciate you trying to sound like a professional journalist.”

They reach his building soon enough, and Jaehwan hides his surprise when Wonshik continues to walk with him until inside.

For once, he’s at a loss for words, finding nothing to talk about since they really don’t know if they share any common interest besides making music.

“How’s your new album going?” Wonshik breaks the ice, looking at his face as he stands beside him in the lift.

“I’ll probably have it out next week or so,” Jaehwan says with a shrug, unsure actually if his album will be acceptable enough for release.

The teaser and jacket shooting went smoothly, the MV flawless, but somehow Jaehwan still feels something inside him eating his heart out and making him restless.

“Hey,” Wonshik calls as they step out of the lift, walking in short steps and Jaehwan wonders if that’s so they won’t reach his flat’s door faster. “I know how you feel. It’ll be fine.”

“I know,” the older nods, avoiding his eyes as he continues walking, “I know it’ll be okay. I just don’t _feel_ like it’ll be.”

“Jaehwan-“

“Okay, thank you for the McDonald’s today,” Jaehwan interrupts before he gets to say whatever else he wants. Wonshik looks at him, judging silently. “You’ve got better things to worry for, like how you’re going to deal with that nasty rumour of yours. It’s been about five months, they told you they’re gonna release the drug test results next week, right?”

Wonshik still has a hesitant expression on his face, but he does reply, “yeah, they told me they’ll slip it in as a part of the physical examination that I’ll do in a reality show.”

“Okay, that’s great,” Jaehwan closes his eyes, inhaling and trying to sort out his thought process.

“Wonshik.”

And Wonshik looks at him, snapping up with that surprised face of his that looks unfortunately adorable especially when he’s wearing one of his cuddly sweaters and nerd glasses.

This truly is, unfortunate, because Jaehwan finds himself reaching up and tasting the stupid barbeque sauce from McDonald’s earlier on his lips, but it's fine and he ignores it, only letting himself press their mouths closer together.

For a second – a slow, slow second, Jaehwan lets the world uselessly stop its spinning, and this is all that matters.

Not the media, not the company, not himself.

They’ve been pretending to be in love for five months and Jaehwan’s sad to say that he can’t admit that he’s pretending to be in love at this very moment.

The slow second ends too soon, and Jaehwan couldn’t believe his privilege to watch all the blood rush to Wonshik’s face. It’s quiet, and the other is just staring at him dumbfounded with his lips parted as if inviting him to kiss him again.

“Thanks for today,” he says, shortly, before turning around entering his flat, possibly to oblivion, possibly to avoid Wonshik until forever.

::

Jaehwan doesn’t like this.

He doesn’t like this  _one_ bit.

If he recalls correctly, his own stupid mouth went off and directly said, “no kissing” yet there he was tipping his toes and diving straight down to the ground.

It’s fake- it’s all so, so fake – so Jaehwan’s never supposed to catch anything. _Nothing_. It was acting, and just that. This is not so different from the dramas he’s starred in, so what makes this one so fucking difficult it makes him sleepless tonight?

Seoul’s night sky seeps into his flat, painting his space a deep dark purple and inky grey. He would’ve admired how beautiful it is if he wasn’t so distracted by every goddamn thing.

When he kissed Wonshik- it was definitely on impulse, and he’s just probably overthinking it, who knows, Wonshik is probably snoring deeply in his own flat, just accepted the fact that Jaehwan gave him a kiss and just assumed it was for the actual McNuggets exchange they had earlier.

Whatever this is, it gets even _worse_ , and he needs to stop himself from diving deeper, into territory he’s not comfortable with. To a place where he never was supposed to belong.

Or maybe this is just the best of him talking him off. This is what he fucking deserves after being such an asshole to Wonshik in the beginning, and to get _so_ comfortable – well, Lee Jaehwan really did play the role of the fool.

Hastily, he sends a string of texts messages to Wonshik, in the midst of exhaustion that makes his eyes heavily lidded and stray, tears that littered his cheeks that he definitely didn’t know where they came from, and his heart settles.

The only way to go.

 **You** **  
**im sorry  
        _4:41AM_

 **You** **  
**i didnt mean it  
        _4:43AM_

 **You** **  
**i dont feel anyhting  
        _4:43AM_

 **You** **  
**lets end this  
        _4:45AM_

 **You** **  
**in case i. make more msitakes.  
        _4:45AM_

 **You** **  
**im sorry for being selfish  
        _4:48AM_

 **You** **  
**im s orry  
        _4:50AM_

::

_iii. town of jade_

What Wonshik didn’t really need to hear about at nine in the morning is Lee Jaehwan running his mouth off and sounding absolutely incomprehensible.

The older man’s eyes are still avoiding his, and Wonshik just ignores the red adorning his pretty cheeks. Well, after what happened yesterday… Wonshik had to ignore half of it too, for the sake of keeping things comfortable.

“That’s why I’m saying,” he hears Jaehwan continue, looking down the carpeted floor of the mixing room he found Wonshik in, “I think it’s about time for us to end this. You’re pretty much in the clear now, so I don’t see the point in continuing this anymore.

“I’ve already talked to Hakyeon earlier and he told me he’ll tell it to Sajangnim, so you need not to worry about anything,” Jaehwan has his hands clasped by his side, and to Wonshik he looks just like a child admitting to his mother that it was actually him who broke the plate. “Sorry for being such a hardass since the beginning.

“We can stage a break-up or something,” he still continues, unpausing for Wonshik who has quite a lot to say, “the fans- your fans won’t be able to really tell anything, and they’ll probably prefer it to stay the way before, so good riddance for you too.”

 _Is it- Is it really- Is he fucking_ -

“The whole thing was fun,” finally, Jaehwan raises his head up, shakily trying to meet his eyes, “but we don’t need to waste time no more.”

Maybe that’s how it really was to Jaehwan – and Wonshik’s also letting his feelings waste away. Like the flow of blood to his ears and making his heart beat faster and deafening him, as if refusing to let him listen to what Jaehwan is saying.

He doesn’t need to hear this – he really doesn’t. Jaehwan was right.

This is a waste of time.

::

“Ah, ah? Hongbin-ah?” Hakyeon gently greets, voice soft as he sneaks glances to Jaehwan who’s just fervently practicing his title track’s choreography. His comeback date is the day after tomorrow, and he’s getting worried by the second every time Jaehwan cycles through the whole album again.

“Yes, hello, speaking,” Hongbin’s baritone surprises him a little, since he doesn’t normally sound this low when speaking in person.

“I’ve received another email yet again asking for Jaehwan’s and Wonshik-ah’s presence in a talk show,” he starts to say, fiddling with his iPad to open the email. “They’ve been scheduled to shoot by the week after the next. I’ve already forwarded it to you so you can look at it after this phone call. The reason why I’m calling you is, well, I’m sure you’ve heard by now what happened between the two.”

It turns out that Hongbin actually _did not_ know what happened, and Hakyeon had to recall and reiterate everything that happened for the past few days. Ever since that Tuesday morning of Jaehwan telling Wonshik to stop this faux relationship, he’s been acting too sullen and it’s _Saturday_.

“Wow…” He hears Hongbin exhale through the speaker of his phone, and Hakyeon holds back a laugh that makes Taekwoon look at him weirdly; he waves his hand, dismissing his attention (Taekwoon catches his hand, anyway). “This is by far the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know,” Hakyeon agrees with a sigh, leaning towards Taekwoon to rest on his shoulder, “Jaehwan is an absolute buffoon when it comes to feelings, and he probably gave himself a scare so now he’s pushing Wonshik away in case he ends up short-circuiting even further.”

“Wonshik is in love with him.”

Hakyeon stays silent, astonished, and he buries his face into Taekwoon’s shoulder.

Hongbin goes on, “Wonshik _literally_ hasn’t functioned properly since Tuesday; he hasn’t come out of his studio to do anything else besides eat or piss or take a shit and just basically distracts himself making songs. Wow. This- This is _incredible_.”

“What’s wrong?” Taekwoon whispers, and he sees Hakyeon break into a smile. He puckers his lips and Taekwoon almost leans in until he pulls away.

“ _I know_ ,” he repeats giddily to the phone, and it makes Taekwoon look even more confused. ‘Later,’ he mouths to him, and the other returns to playing whatever cat game is in rotation in his phone this month.

“Does Jaehwan-ssi…?” Hongbin trails off, and Hakyeon spares another glance at Jaehwan, who’s aggressively gulping from his water bottle. When he gets satisfied he pulls away with a pop, looking extremely fatigued already but there’s a distant look in his eyes.

“Yeah,” Hakyeon replies after a while, “he does.”

::

Jaehwan squints against the stage lighting, and he sees his fans waving at him with his lightstick, its coral glow illuminating the theatre they’re holding his showcase in.

He finds himself searching the crowd – before catching himself and he tries to evens his breathing. It’s useless, useless, useless, useless- Unnecessary. Just a waste of time.

His thousands of fans are all cheering on him for his comeback and he’s selfishly looking for one person that he himself pushed away.

Hakyeon comes up to him, telling him to be ready in five minutes, and the live showing will start rolling. Taekwoon, too, waves at him from the backstage, and spares him a sliver of his smiles.

Somehow, Jaehwan ends up feeling his emotions welling up on him again, and he’s annoyed – at himself, at Wonshik, at everybody else involved probably, since he’s never supposed to catch anything.

There’s a lone voice inside him that’s asking for someone that Jaehwan knows he can’t long for, and he doesn’t know what’s worse: wanting something he can’t have or pushing something away he could’ve had.

A sudden mic squeak breaks out that interrupts him to self-destructing further, and he remembers those feelings are better thrown away. He has a showcase to perform, and the last thing he needs is his fansites capturing his face looking sulky and ugly on stage.

This new album- this is his third one now, after his debut five years ago, consisting of ten songs, each meticulously crafted and made with care that Jaehwan cannot absolutely fathom the thought of each song having even one mistake.

Each and every one of his fans deserves so much and Jaehwan can barely hold himself together to deliver back what they’re simply asking for.

The stage lights turn a deep purple, and he immediately understands that it’s his cue.

Not now.

(After the showcase ended, Taekwoon shoved a bouquet in Jaehwan’s hands, one blooming full with both white azaleas and violets.

“Who’s this from?” The younger asks with his breath caught by the back his throat.

“Just from another one of your fans,” Hakyeon answers calmly as he’s typing something into his iPad.

Okay, maybe Jaehwan dreamed a little bit thinking it was someone else.)

::

The J-Pop he’s listening to is ineffectually playing on his bedside table, doing quite a shit job of lulling Jaehwan to sleep.

It’s another one of those – another of those sleepless nights.

These kinds of nights have been happening too frequently and it’s the last thing he needs as a busy artist, needing all the sleep he can have in the precious hours of the night instead of trying to count sheep inside Hakyeon’s car while speeding down Seoul’s highway in the bright hours of the day.

Of course, he’s got one thing to blame, and just thinking about it already makes Jaehwan feel restless and there’s a clawing sensation in the pit of his stomach that he can’t describe with anything else but worry.

He hasn’t heard from Wonshik at all since the previous week, and he’ll probably only see him again when they meet in the studio for the last talk show they’ll be invited together, which will happen in about three days.

So really, Jaehwan’s having a great time squeezing his pillows, wishing for the sandman to come visit his bedroom and bless him with some proper sleep.

The moment he closes his eyes, he sees Wonshik.

He tries to think of something else, he wonders what will Wonshik think about it.

His hand is in his pants, his thoughts stray to Wonshik (and maybe his round, wire-rimmed glasses and that upswept hair he does that causes a few hair strands to fall down his forehead rebelliously).

Jaehwan has already accepted his infatuation last month, but this? No, no. Never this. Jaehwan and this don’t go together. Jaehwan’s afraid of this. Jaehwan _avoids_ this.

Sure, sometimes he looks at his managers and imagines himself in their places, but it only goes as far as that. He can _never_ see him, Lee-selfish prick-Jaehwan, in love and happily in a relationship (and just saying that already makes him want to cower in fear).

Truthfully he never understood his own irrational fear of being in a relationship, and it’s not like he’s afraid of commitment – and in fact, he quite thinks he’s very loyal – it’s just that? The inevitable ending? Heartbreak?

The closest conclusion he can muse is that he’s just, well, afraid to experience any form of pain it’ll bring.

Physical pain and emotional pain are two completely different things, after all. While with physical pain, it’s all in just skin and bones and muscles, and Jaehwan can already make a list in his head of all the painkillers he knows that can easily null the pain.

Emotional pain, however, emotional pain is this – sleepless nights, sad longing in your chest, and your head gets dizzy, spinning from all these foreign emotions you’re experiencing as your heart squeezes every last bit of its feelings and swell into something bigger and possibly, worse. Completely unfixable by any form of medication, and there’s only one way known to make it go away.

Jaehwan wants it to go away.

::

That’s why he finds himself standing in front of Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s flat at no earlier than three in the morning, in his own thin pajamas that’s letting all the cold night breeze of Seoul kiss his skin. It’s a great thing they just stayed at an apartment complex not so far from Jaehwan’s, making the walking distance basically non-existent.

Hesitantly, he rings the doorbell thrice, already trying to figure out a coherent excuse on how he ended up here. He can’t just say, “oh, I didn’t realise but my legs were walking me here!”

He stands there for a minute or two, before he hears footsteps walking behind the door. It opens, revealing a Hakyeon in an oversized shirt that definitely didn’t belong to him and sleepiness still very much behind his eyes.

“Jaehwannie?” The nickname slips, as Hakyeon tries to rub some sleep off his eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“I-” Jaehwan didn’t exactly manage to come up with an excuse last second, so he trips over his words, “I wanted- I have, I need to-” Hakyeon crosses his arms, eyes already slanting as he watches Jaehwan dig himself into embarrassment further.

“There’s something-” He pauses, inhaling as he tries to calm his heart for whatever reason it’s beating so damn fast, “there’s – there’s something I need your help with.”

The interior of Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s flat is a little homey-er than Jaehwan’s. There are shoes arranged on the side of the entrance, their size difference clear and obvious.

They seem to have more furniture than Jaehwan’s flat (mostly the furniture in Jaehwan’s flat are what he likes to call ‘decorative trash’ anyway) and much more appliances that he’ll never see himself using like the double mugged coffee maker he saw when they passed the kitchen.

Hakyeon points him to sit on their couch, squeaking and bouncing when Jaehwan places himself on it. The older disappears to the kitchen, probably off to make some coffee or tea.

And then Taekwoon finally appears from one of the only other room in the flat besides the one that could’ve led to the bathroom and toilet, in a flimsy white tank top and all while scratching his back. His pajama pants hang low on his hips, giving Jaehwan an idea of business that’s not his.

“What are you doing here?” He hears him ask, again in that soft speaking voice of his that Jaehwan sometimes wonder what’ll he sound if he made him angry.

Jaehwan doesn’t answer the question and just shakes his head. Later, when Hakyeon comes back.

Since he didn’t reply, Taekwoon just stares and wordlessly follows Hakyeon to the kitchen. He can hear a muffled conversation taking place, and he tries to strain his ears to eavesdrop. Hakyeon and Taekwoon’s soft chatter continues, and he hears Taekwoon giggle, before they emerge from the kitchen together with steaming mugs of coffee for each of them.

“So what brought South Korea’s beloved Lee Jaehwan to visit my slumbering partner and I at the holy hours of the morning?” Hakyeon somehow manages to still hand him his mug with grace despite being roused from his sleep ten minutes ago, and… Jaehwan really underestimates him sometimes.

He takes the mug, loving already how it warms his cold fingers. The coffee swooshes in the slightest movement, and Jaehwan gets entertained by that already.

“Um,” he tears his eyes away, and he suddenly starts feeling abashed.

_How… Do people… Put this… Into words..._

The pair looks at him expectantly, and Taekwoon’s lazily closing his eyes already as he places his head on Hakyeon’s lap.

Slowly, Jaehwan breathes, closing his eyes and leaves his mouth to do the rest, “I think… I like… Wonshik.” He couldn’t have said it any way better, so the fact that he managed to even say it without stuttering was a considerable feat.

Anyway, he can’t even bring himself to look up from the coffee mug, and the brown liquid suddenly looks like the most interesting thing in the world – up there with Wonshik’s eyes, Wonshik’s lips, Wonshik’s-

“Is that all?” Hakyeon cuts right through him, that Jaehwan impulsively looks up. “Did you really come here at early _goddamn_ morning just to tell us something we already know?”

Uh… Huh. Taekwoon only blinks, also looking just as unsurprised as Hakyeon. Okay. Not good.

“What do you mean… You already know…” Jaehwan trails off, letting them take the chance to reply, and Hakyeon goes off – _really_ goes off.

“Jaehwan, I wasn’t running around as your manager for four years for nothing and couldn't help but learn your mannerisms,” he begins, holding a finger up, adding another one as he lists out, “we can tell apart if you need coffee or tea, whether you’re just asking for attention or you really want to be left alone, and well… This is new but it wasn’t hard to pick up.”

“I promise,” Hakyeon continues, and Taekwoon reaches up to curl his hand around his neck. “We can see if something’s bothering you, and with what happened recently, everything really just added up. It wasn’t too hard of a guess, right?”

Taekwoon nods quietly, and they actually look extremely intimate that Jaehwan wonders if he’s intruding something.

“Yeah well, okay, great. So I guess I don’t need to explain that part,” Jaehwan’s sad to break their moment, but he came here to ask for advice, not to sit and be envious.

“There’s more?”

“Oh- _there_ _is_.”

And so he spills it all – all those thoughts that went by and visited him in his sleep and stayed long until morning came, the littlest things he felt when he was pretending with Wonshik and how he ended up inevitably finding him actually cute and soft despite him disliking his appearance as a rapper, and of course Jaehwan’s demise, perhaps he liked his glasses a little way too much.

“You’re in love with him,” Taekwoon points out, interrupting right before Jaehwan was about to wax poetic about another thing about Wonshik that they didn’t need to hear. “Holy shit,” and wow it really must be news when Taekwoon curses, “you’re _in love_ with him.”

“You’re only getting there now?” Hakyeon quips, and looks like all the sleepiness finally left Taekwoon’s eyes. “It’s been _way_ too obvious.”

“I mean, yeah,” Jaehwan watches them bicker, Taekwoon retorting, “I know he’s been sulky but I didn’t realise it’s gonna be _this_ bad.”

“Well, it is. What’s your plan?”

“Uh, plan?” He hasn’t thought of any plan, any idea that came into his head was dismissed immediately, as he couldn’t even fathom himself what’ll be like confessing to him.

“Your plan to get back with Wonshik, of course,” the way Hakyeon says it, it sounds so simple and Jaehwan almosts believes that it’ll all be alright.

Jaehwan was about to whine and say that he absolutely doesn’t know what to do, but Hakyeon shuts him up.

“Listen to me, very carefully now…”

::

Time flies by so fast that Jaehwan catches himself counting minutes instead of days.

For the first time in two weeks, Jaehwan finally sees Wonshik in person after barely striving off with his memories and shameful google searches. (Maybe this is what his fans feel like when they see him for the first time – as if Wonshik’s unreal and Jaehwan can’t believe his audacity to boldly kiss him.)

Wonshik’s wearing a simple baby blue dress shirt, and of course, his glasses. Looking exactly like a snack.

They meet eyes, when Jaehwan steps into the waiting room for the show, and he couldn’t help but notice the tiredness drooping down Wonshik’s eyes and the fact that even for one second he lies to himself to say that Wonshik brightened up when he saw him enter the room.

How quickly Wonshik averts his eyes too, that it almost hurts Jaehwan when he’s responsible for this.

All the words he’s practiced gets thrown out of the window, his throat getting drier as the clock ticks on. Somehow, in the process of becoming smitten with Wonshik, he ends up becoming more and more awkward compared to how much he dominated their conversations in the beginning.

He wants to ask him if he’s mad, if he’s okay, if he also likes him back – but Jaehwan couldn’t find the right words as always and he only manages to croak out a lame, “hello.”

Wonshik doesn’t bother looking at him, and merely gives him a nod. Okay. He must’ve hated Jaehwan more than he thought.

Helplessly, Jaehwan ends up not saying anything he wanted to, he kind of hates himself for it, since they’re being ushered onto the stage now, and everything will be left to timing and chance.

::

In the midst of this last farce, Jaehwan’s heart gradually beats faster as the show drags on. Coupled with the live audience again, he can feel their eyes watching his every hand gesture, his blinks, his sneaky glances at Wonshik – who also, distractedly, keep talking to the hosts.

They’re talking about, uh – what was it – something about their relationship that Jaehwan isn’t exactly paying attention to. The way Wonshik’s carrying himself and the conversation is admirable actually, holding himself high and properly as if he and Jaehwan just didn’t have a fallout last week.

It scares him, honestly, that Wonshik can do this at will while his heart is crumbling next to him. Since when did he end up being this… Affected, he doesn’t remember.

The _last_ thing Jaehwan remembers where he was still fully stable was him listing off his ‘rules’ in that dingy café Hongbin brought them both in. And, well, here he is now.

Half of Jaehwan wishes he’d be just as easy to find Wonshik annoying just like he did back then (he still does, but usually now it’s because he’s demanding for more attention and Wonshik won’t even give him the satisfaction of having all it.)

“You’ve been together for what, three years, right?” One of the hosts clarifies, her long dark hair falling elegantly by her arms, and Jaehwan's eyes follow the movement of it.

He feels Wonshik side-eye him, so he speaks up this time, blushing and smiling, trying to look shy. “Yes, we've been together for three years. Wonshikkie asked me out after my second album came out.”

“That’s so sweet of you two,” her partner comments, as they nod along, “for coming out to the public bravely and deciding to be honest to your fans.”

“Ah,” Wonshik speaks up, the low rumble of his voice already bringing back Jaehwan’s nervousness back to high levels, “about being honest...“

 _Oh God, here it comes_.

“We- Jaehwan and I want to announce something,” he continues, lifting up the bridge of his glasses as he looks at Jaehwan. He meets his eyes longer this time, and you know what? That’s more than enough.

Jaehwan leans closer, letting his breath tickle down Wonshik’s neck, “let me do it.”

The younger doesn’t say anything, and he just pulls away with the faintest raise of his eyebrows.

Okay.

Here goes.

Wordlessly, Jaehwan stands up from his seat, startling both Wonshik and the hosts, and perhaps all the audience watching the room. He walks in small steps of one, two, three until he’s right in front of Wonshik, who’s amusingly sporting a confused face.

“What’s this, what’s this?” The male host whispers to his co-host, and Jaehwan pays no attention to them, because right now, he needs to muster all the courage he has and there’s already no turning back at this point.

Still not breaking eye contact, he slowly kneels down on one knee, and even at just this, he can already see all the thinking taking place behind Wonshik’s eyes. Jaehwan delicately takes his left hand, feeling it’s small trembles.

“Wonshik,” and for once, Jaehwan lets himself finally smile without faking it, reaching so high up his eyes that he probably looks like a lovesick fool with crescent eyes, “I absolutely have no idea how to say this, and I've been a mess since last week. So, no matter how cheesy sounds, but-”

He brings out the golden band that has been sitting inside his back pocket all this time, and it’s a little hot to the touch, after being forced to being squished between his ass and the hard plastic chair.

“But, I’ve found life with you,” he continues and _oh no_ it wasn’t supposed to get this emotional to the point he’s starting to feel tears by the corners of his eyes again, “and life feels like something I should spend with you.”

As expected, Wonshik just sits there, looking like the dumbest idiot Jaehwan has ever seen with his lips slightly parted as he processes everything Jaehwan just said. His eyes search his, and Jaehwan just blinks back at him – this is the most sincere expression he can do, okay.

Gingerly now, Wonshik takes his hand that Jaehwan took and brings his hand back with him instead, silently allowing Jaehwan to slide the golden band down his ring finger. His glasses slid down his nose bridge after looking at their hands so much, and Jaehwan uses the last bit of his courage to put it back in place.

And, well, Jaehwan strays his lips a little too far, and it meets Wonshik’s cheek. Just like this, the studio erupts into a room of frenzy. Jaehwan looks at the people in front of them, and right, he may actually have forgotten about them – but Wonshik’s already taking his hand, and they’re running down the stage, towards backstage and they can hear people shouting for them.

Jaehwan giggles to himself as they keep running, and he enjoys the cool feel of metal against his skin. It fits Wonshik’s golden skin so well – he made the right choice of choosing something basic and simple.

They reach the ground floor, and Wonshik stops when he sees a guy sipping coffee with the Jellyfish Entertainment lanyard.

“Oh, hyung,” he greets, and his eyebrows hike up higher when he notices Jaehwan standing behind Wonshik with their hands laced together. “Did the recording already finish?”

“Where’s Hongbin?” Wonshik briskly asks instead, and he pulls Jaehwan towards him closer.

“I think he went out to eat with Jaehwan-ssi’s managers,” he replies, looking away to think about it. He was about to ask why, but the pair already runs by him and the next thing he sees are a bunch of staff stumbling into the lobby too.

Wonshik brings Jaehwan outside, and his eyes search quickly for a place nearby that when you exit the building you won’t immediately see them, and he tugs Jaehwan along to the park nearby.

He makes him sit on the bench, and Jaehwan can almost feel his legs giving out if he wasn’t so high on this thrill.

“Why did you do that?”

His voice is hushed, as if he’s afraid of what Jaehwan will answer. Just when he _thought_ Jaehwan would end everything, cut him off, pretend he doesn’t exist, he goes with that act and frankly, Wonshik can get pretty stupid but he knows when Jaehwan does something way out of his bounds.

The older pats the spot next to him on the bench, already missing Wonshik’s warmth by his side. If they’re going to talk to about this, he needs to be sitting at least.

“Why do you think?” There’s another one of his lopsided smiles adorning his face, and this is unfair for Wonshik.

It’s unfair he can look all that cute and adorable and sweet and… It really is just unfair, when Wonshik is trying to be civil and all he can think of is kissing his goddamn face off.

“I don’t know,” he answers anyway, averting his eyes to look at the concrete ground. “Ah… Shit, we really ran off.”

Honestly, it was really impulsive of him, and he doesn’t exactly know why he did it. Maybe the pressure of the audience got the best of him, and his brain thought that running away was just the best way to go.

The staff running after them, he kinda feels bad, but then again, they have no idea of his brain and heart both slowly melting down as he spends another minute with Jaehwan.

“Well, you took me away!” Jaehwan exclaims, throwing his hands up. “Which, by the way, was a nice touch. Exactly my taste of being extra.” The thrill of running away from people, the fact that they had an audience, he likes attention, and doing it all with Wonshik really puts him on extreme levels of adrenaline

“Hey,” Wonshik interrupts his glee, and his eyes glint something else that Jaehwan finds himself shutting up immediately, “say it again.”

“Say what again?”

“The things you said earlier.”

“Why?” Jaehwan has that shit-eating grin he has whenever he’s being cocky, and really, Wonshik is _this_ close to kissing it off.

“I need to hear it again,” he argues anyway, and he watches as the other’s grin grow bigger.

“ _Why_?”

“Because I _need_ to confirm if my ears weren’t lying,” Wonshik hates losing, and he hates it even worse when he loses to Jaehwan.

He loses, and loses, losing in this stupid war of theirs that’s not even real. He would’ve been much prouder if he was losing in a battle between who’s dumber between them but-

But he forgets half of his annoyance already, however, as Jaehwan starts leaning towards him.

The lip gloss tint he’s wearing shines blindingly in this dim park lighting, and it does nothing and just invites Wonshik, even more, to already close their distance. This really is just a losing battle, and he’s _living_ for it. Jaehwan doesn’t meet his lips, though, and he just goes to whisper the same, exact words he already said.

“Do you think I’m lying?” Jaehwan’s voice breaks a little, and it scares Wonshik to even look at him, afraid that he’ll do something impulsive again if he does. “Hey.”

As always, Wonshik inevitably complies anyway, and he sees Jaehwan looking at him directly, his eyes saying nothing but bold honesty and- And, _Christ_ , this really spiralled into something as unbelievable as this.

He doesn’t say anything, only soundlessly bringing his hand to rest on Jaehwan’s nape. “I believe you,” his voice is barely louder than a whisper, and Wonshik wishes time would stop like in a cliché movie right now, because- Well, because right now, he finally tugs Jaehwan closer, and he also tugs his lips along, tasting that glossy tint of his yet it’s all okay because this _is_ Jaehwan.

Kim Wonshik secretly loves a lot of things sweet like his coffee and cakes, but the sweet, sweet taste of Jaehwan’s gloss in a kiss is easily climbing his list. With New York cheesecakes and vanilla lattes and perhaps, also the taste of Lee Jaehwan’s lips, Wonshik finds his sweet tooth satisfaction kissing him.

“Let me,” Wonshik breathlessly tries to say when he pulls away, “let me take you out on a date.” His hand stays on the other’s nape, its heated skin bringing him warmth and comfort than he could ever imagine.

“Right now?” Jaehwan looks at him like a fish, lips parted and Wonshik for once and for all kisses them this time – it already can’t get any better than this.

“Yeah, right now. Let’s go on a real date.”

Jaehwan smiles widely, the corners of his eyes crinkling along and this sight alone makes Wonshik realise that Jaehwan’s real smiles fit him the most in the end.

“Take me out,” Jaehwan starts, before stealing another kiss. He licks his lips, wiping away any gloss left. “Take me to a place fancier than that first fake date we had.”

And so they started running again, their hands locked tighter than before. The golden band hugging around Wonshik’s finger grows colder in the night breeze, but Jaehwan likes it, the sharp sting of its coldness reminding him that for once, he finally let his heart get what it wants.

They come in giggling, their smiles hidden between their shared passes, and it’s actually eleven at night, so there’s not a lot of people eating. If the staff recognises them, they didn’t even bother looking starstruck.

“Hi, welcome to McDonald’s,” the teenager manning the counter drags on, his eyes saying nothing but already wanting to come home. “What will be your order?”

Still distractedly laughing, it takes half of his will to tear his eyes away from Wonshik for even a second.

“I’ll have...” he barely glances up the menu, since he already knows what he’ll be having this time around. “I’ll have a ten-piece McNuggets meal, please. With fries and coke, both large too.”

Wonshik leans his head in to whisper to him, “wow, you really sound like you eat at McDonald’s now.”

“ _Shut up_.”

(After they’ve finally sat down, Wonshik starts listing off why he love chicken McNuggets so much.

They’re both having a ten-piece meal, so Wonshik argues this time that Jaehwan’s definitely not going to be sneaking his hand to steal a nugget this time.

“How come they’re just _so_ good?” Jaehwan contemplates as he chews it, looking at the meaty piece and he doesn’t see anything special. Just white flesh and crispy skin. Literally how.

“My theory,” Wonshik begins, completely munching down the nugget he was eating first, before continuing, “is that McDonald’s brainwashes everyone who comes in their stores and tricks them to thinking their food is good.”

Jaehwan stares at him for a second, baffled, then he continues chewing with a shrug, “well,” he says with a mouthful, “they _are_ good, so.”

“You know what’s weird?” Wonshik diverts the topic, “you never trying McNuggets before.”

Squinting, Jaehwan takes a gulp of his coke, before saying, “maybe their brainwash signals didn’t affect me back then. I used to be _actually_ smart, you know.”

His last sentence makes Wonshik bark out a laugh. He’s looking absolutely whipped and smitten, and Jaehwan is just as charmed.)

They come out of fast food place at eleven, and they’re both tired from being outside for too long already.

The younger shyly takes Jaehwan’s hand in his, admiring the glimmer of the gold on his skin in the dark.

“Hey,” he calls, softly and hushed, “do you want to come over?”

::

Truthfully, Wonshik’s bare intention was just inviting Jaehwan to come over his flat to innocently crash the night since it’s already late and all, yet those ended up being pushed to the back of his head when Jaehwan kisses him in the lift and the next thing Wonshik knows is his body pressed against Jaehwan with their mouths moving against each other hotly.

“Wonshik-” Jaehwan struggles to call, his lips preoccupied to even say anything, “Wonshik, the lift.”

Clicking his tongue, Wonshik pulls him along, and Jaehwan marvels at the interior of Wonshik’s penthouse, the dividers made out of rustic dark wood theme and smoked glass, and he can see the second floor, perhaps leading to more rooms where Wonshik does all his work.

The living room is modern and minimalistic, like Wonshik _opted_ for his flat to look like this. There’s an array for various wine bottles stocked in the far end of the room, and next to that he can actually make out a bar in the dark.

He’d really continue appreciating the interior design since he’s always been a sucker for those but Wonshik pinning him to a wall says he can pretend he’s in House Hunters another time.

“Jaehwan,” Wonshik’s deep, low rumble reaches his ears, and it travels down in shivers straight to his pants, “ _Jaehwan-ah_.”

And Jaehwan knows he’s won him over when all of Wonshik’s gentleness disappears and he’s roughly being held by the hips.

This- _This_ , is what used to repulse him before but with the recent turn of events, it suddenly became the reason of the sudden addition of a trash bin beside his bed and the need to stock up on tissues faster.

“Kiss me more,” Jaehwan directs, as the other starts kissing his neck, wanting to feel those pretty, cherry lips against his once again. He almost coos at how easily Wonshik listens. This time, he makes sure to lick his lips, the subtlest permission to take this further.

Their shared kisses of teeth clashing and tongues bumping gradually eases, and in the span of standing in the dark of Wonshik’s living room for the smallest amount of time, they took time to learn how the other kisses.

Jaehwan notices how Wonshik angles his head when he tries to deepen the kiss, and his hands wander towards to hold his wrists to really pin him to the wall and he loves it exactly like that. Wonshik, too, catches on early that Jaehwan absolutely loves being held and rendered unable to move. He likes his kisses wet and noisy, moaning at every wet kissing noise and how his legs tremble every time Wonshik’s tongue swipes against his lips.

“Do you-” Wonshik pants against his mouth, their breaths both hot and steaming, “do you want to-”

“ _Please_.”

Easily like that, Wonshik manhandles him and carries him off to his bedroom, with him whining to hurry and peppering his neck with little kisses.

“How far do you want to go?” The younger has him perfectly laid on his back, and Jaehwan has his hands on his stomach and he helplessly doesn’t know where to put them.

“How far do _you_ want to?”

“All the way.”

“You know I also do.”

Wonshik slowly lowers and he chastely kisses Jaehwan, simply pressing their mouths together. Jaehwan clearly didn’t like as much, as he starts slapping his chest. It makes Wonshik chuckle into the kiss, making him break it off and he sees Jaehwan pouting at him.

“You’re so cute,” the weight in Wonshik’s chest eases off now that he finally got to say it front of Jaehwan, “you’re so _fucking_ cute.”

“That’s,” Jaehwan looks at him with eyes wide, “that’s the first time you ever called me cute.”

“Believe me,” Wonshik shifts his knees, since the spot he’s kneeling on is starting to burn his knee joints, “I’ve called you cute way too many times. You just never hear me say it.”

“Call me cute again,” his arms come up to wrap around his neck, and Wonshik lowers himself to give Jaehwan another kiss.

“Cute. You’re really, really cute,” Wonshik begins mumbling with every kiss, and he enjoys the satisfaction in Jaehwan’s face.

“Okay, thank you. But can we fuck now?” Jaehwan’s bluntness catches him off guard, “it’s getting kinda looking painful.” As if to further prove his point, he runs the pad of his index finger against the tent in Wonshik’s jeans, lightly teasing him.

He gets what he wants immediately when Wonshik pulls off and starts tearing their clothes away until all that’s left are their boxers and Jaehwan’s sweater. He was, actually supposed to remove his sweater too, but Wonshik stops him, and shyly, tells him to keep it on because he likes it on him.

“If that’s the case,” the older has a loose-lipped smile, goofily loving the bashfulness of Wonshik even though they’re about to do something not exactly family-friendly, “keep your glasses on.”

“It’s in the way?” Wonshik looks at him confusedly, one of his eyebrows arching up, “and it’ll get fogged up because God knows you keep panting between kisses.”

“You’ve _only_ started experiencing how to make out with me an hour ago, you have _no_ right-”

Wonshik shuts him when he lowers his head to his boxers, and oh, does Jaehwan like this view. He doesn’t know how many times he’s thought about this with his hands in his pants, and now that it’s happening, he doesn’t exactly know how he’ll prevent himself from coming too fast.

“May I suck you off?”

Breathlessly, Jaehwan shakily gives him a nod, and he watches as Wonshik slowly pulls down his boxers with his teeth. It’s such a cheesy way of trying to be sexy, but Jaehwan buys it anyway all the same when his aching dick says all that’s needed to be said.

Cautiously now, Wonshik pecks the tip of his cock, before making Jaehwan choke by the back of his throat when he’s suddenly engulfed in wet warmth.

“Ah- _Ah_ , Wonshik…” Jaehwan grips Wonshik’s luxurious pillows feebly, his toes curling by the foot of the bed as the other continues to suck him down.

The way Wonshik languidly licks around the girth of his cock and how his tongue grazes the slit of the head, it’s all too much for Jaehwan and he ends up cumming in thick white spurts inside Wonshik’s mouth. A sliver of cum drips by the side of his mouth, and his tongue comes out to lick it up.

He comes up to kiss Jaehwan full on the lips, and he can taste his cum in his mouth, salty and bitter, and he gulps it all down. It makes the kiss sticky and messy, but Wonshik knows by now that this just turns Jaehwan on even more.

“You can go for more, can’t you?” Wonshik asks him so softly against his mouth, as if he hasn’t kissed him dizzy with the taste of himself with his lips.

“I _swear_ to God if you still don’t stick at least a finger in me by the next five minutes I’m gonna do it by myself.”

Snickering, Wonshik pulls away again to reach his bedside table and fish out a bottle of lube and a packet of condom.

“You get some?” Wiggling his eyebrows, Jaehwan hopes it’s not obvious enough that he’s envious in case Wonshik already had previous partners.

“No,” oh, uh, good? “I just prefer using condoms to avoid the mess.”

Okay.

“Well, okay, good at least we’re practicing safe sex, but can you _please_ stick a finger in me already.”

With a sigh, Wonshik drips a generous amount of lube on his fingers, warming them up for a bit before sticking his middle finger in front of Jaehwan’s pucker.

“Tell me if it hurts,” he says, but Jaehwan rolls his eyes.

“It won’t. I’ve fingered myself _countless_ times thinking of you; this is baby food.”

The sudden confession had Wonshik accidentally pushing his finger in immediately, and he revels himself in the loud mewl Jaehwan makes. He takes his time knowing where to touch, this round, skirting around his walls and trying to find a certain spot.

“More,” Jaehwan demands, his sweater has already ridden up his chest and reveals a pretty pink nub that Wonshik couldn’t help but dive in to suck as he sticks another finger in him. The loud noises Jaehwan continues making is just motivating him to go on, and he motions his index and middle finger to a come-hither gesture.

He knows Jaehwan’s gone when he arches his back, perfectly lifting off as Wonshik finally rubs against his prostate.

“Please, please,” he starts mumbling, mouth running off to just say please continuously, and Wonshik adds another finger in, just to see how he’ll react. “Oh, _God_ \- Wonshik, please- _please_.”

Steadying a pace, Wonshik starts fucking his fingers into Jaehwan and he loves every minute of it. How Jaehwan’s back arches every time he nails his spot, and how his mouth trembles when he couldn’t help but moan.

“You’re so cute,” he repeats from earlier, and Jaehwan just whimpers, his hands wildly grasping the bed sheets that Wonshik couldn’t actually wait to him his wrists down the bed. “My cutie, will you let me fuck you?”

“Oh, please,” as if a time bomb, Jaehwan immediately starts chanting pleas, his eyes half-lidded and Wonshik can see how flushed his skin is even in this silver moonlight.

Finally, _finally_ , he finally slathers some lube onto his dick, grunting as he gave it attention for once tonight. With a gentle caress, he helps Jaehwan spread his legs open by pressing down his thigh, and slowly, he inches in.

The twist of pain in Jaehwan’s face worries him a little, so Wonshik carefully his kisses cock, taking its head again lightly. Jaehwan keens at this, his cock already sensitive after being stimulated earlier.

Once all of Wonshik finally bottomed in, he gives Jaehwan a minute to adjust, until he gives him a wispy “please,” and that’s only when he unhurriedly begins rocking into him, building a slow pace.

Jaehwan’s little “ah”s and “ungh”s turn him on to no end, and it’s so hard for him to not just hold him down and start pounding into him hard. Looks like he needed little to no wait, anyway, because Jaehwan’s just as impatient for this as him since the older wiggles his ass and gives him an impish smile.

“Faster,” and to be honest, that one simple word sets Wonshik off to already increasing his speed. He shifts his angle so he can pin Jaehwan’s wrists down like he’s been wanting to do since earlier, and presses their lips into a kiss again.

And does Jaehwan _wail_ into the kiss when the angle changed and Wonshik finally starts fucking into him hard and fast. The bed squeaks noisily and the headboard bangs against the wall loudly, but it doesn’t matter since they’re in the penthouse and this is their  _space_.

Wonshik feels Jaehwan’s legs wrap around his waist, and his fingers tighten around Jaehwan’s wrists, his thrusts getting sloppier as their kisses get even messier and open-mouthed.

Spit trickles down Jaehwan’s chin, glistening in the dark and Wonshik’s heart swells with pride when he sees his cherry bruised lips beside it.

“Wanna cum,” Jaehwan whines, hands trying to break from Wonshik’s grasp and he does let him go, only to feel his arms wrap around his neck. “Please, I wanna cum Wonshik.”

The younger slows down, leaving his dick inside and snug, and deliberately, he starts thrusting into Jaehwan with small, short movements that had Jaehwan keening. The tip of Wonshik’s cock is hitting his spot again and again at a slow pace, mercilessly not giving him a second to breathe.

He cums once again, another quick burst of white, landing on his Givenchy sweater and making Wonshik follow secondly, feeling him pulse inside him as he spurts into the condom. Exhaling, he gingerly pulls out, careful not to overstimulate Jaehwan further.

His fingers distractedly tie the condom, and when he sees Jaehwan lying on his bed, fully blissed out and rightfully wrecked, it’s only when it settles in him that all this really happened.

Quickly now, he rushes to the bathroom to get a wet towel that was washed with water and bath soap, and also a fresh change of clothes for both of them.

Only to come back with Jaehwan snoozing by his big pillows already. Carefully, he wipes the mess on his stomach and anywhere else when Jaehwan abruptly blinks his eyes open, giving him a pout.

“What’re you doing?”

“Cleaning you up,” Wonshik replies with a hush, “come on, sit up, you need to change clothes.”

Stubbornly, Jaehwan sits up from the bed, and lets Wonshik peel off his sweater in exchange for an oversized t-shirt one instead. He flops down immediately as soon as he popped his head out the t-shirt, already feeling extremely comfortable in Wonshik’s home.

It takes Wonshik another minute or two to change, since he got a little bit busy admiring Jaehwan’s pretty lashes and nose, before changing into just a pair of pajama pants and nothing else. He finally gets rid of the stupid glasses Jaehwan made him wear the whole time, too, carelessly setting it down his bedside table.

Shyly, he climbs his bed, and he was going to settle some distance between them when Jaehwan comes up to grab his arms make him spoon him. His waist is smaller than his, and he fits exactly just right in Wonshik’s arms.

Wonshik kisses his cheek goodnight, then, and he thinks, just before he falls asleep, that he can really get used to this.

::

When morning came, it already annoyed Jaehwan before he even got to open his eyes. The sun rays were burning into his eyelids too much and woke him up, making him open his eyes irritatedly before realising that this isn’t his flat.

The sunlight woke him up because of the goddamn ceiling to floor glass wall, and basically, all of Seoul is right in front of Jaehwan right now. He’d love to imagine what it’d be like waking up to something like this every day, but he already remembered his annoyance from earlier, so maybe not.

His eyes search for Wonshik, and he sees himself only wearing an oversized t-shirt and nothing under.

A blush climbs his face immediately when he realises this, and remembers what happened last night. He remembers ditching the shooting too, and he scrambles off the bed to search his clothes for his phone when he notices that Wonshik already cleaned up and set his phone aside on the bedside table.

Dead. Soon, when Jaehwan charges this enough, he’ll be dead too and his head will be in Hakyeon’s hands.

For now…

He sees the pair of boxers Wonshik placed next to his phone, and he thanks him silently, since he can’t really imagine going out of the room with his dick shamelessly hanging between his legs.

Once it’s on, he pads outside of the room, eyes still looking for Wonshik, and he finds him in the kitchen shirtless and making pancakes. What a total nuthead for cliché.

His abs are finally in stark display in the bright of hours of the morning, and Jaehwan really wonders how he’s managed to snag a snack like him. His tattoos, too. His inked skin prettily flexing in the morning light that makes Jaehwan want to run his fingers over and kiss every dot.

“Good morning,” Jaehwan timidly greets, and it’s a little out of character of him, because Wonshik stares at him as if he’s grown a second head.

“Don’t go becoming shy on me now,” Wonshik grumbles as he flops another pancake to a stack, “charming, but you should’ve been like that five months ago not after I just fucked your brains out last night.”

Jaehwan ends up chasing Wonshik around his dining table with Wonshik brusquely holding out a spatula in defense. Wonshik bravely comes up at him, and Jaehwan starts stomping towards him too.

“Hey,” Wonshik mutters, his hands easily finds his waist, and there’s already a silly grin forming on Jaehwan’s face when he meets him.

“Hello,” has to tip his toes a little again to match Wonshik’s height, but he likes their height difference. It makes him feel cuter, actually, to be the smaller person in a relationship for once.

“Is it okay to kiss you?” Wonshik leans closer, eager to kiss him again when Jaehwan’s suddenly holds his fingers against his lips.

“Ask me out first,” Jaehwan teases with a tilting smile, and Wonshik has to see the satisfaction grow on his face.

“Didn’t you already propose to me last night?” He quips, slipping his left hand under his shirt that Jaehwan’s wearing for the meantime, reminding him in the slightest of last night’s events by letting him feel the cold metal on his hand.

“Shut up,” Jaehwan already lost, “that’s different. Kinda.”

“So you’re saying you really just lied?”

“No! I mean…” Jaehwan averts his eyes, his hand against Wonshik’s lips falls, and rests on his shoulder instead, “I mean… Yeah, I’m like, highkey in love with you, but… But, I don’t exactly know if I want to, you know. Get married. I mean, I’ll probably want to marry you. But, not… Now?”

“You’re so stupid,” Wonshik knocks his forehead against Jaehwan’s, “I didn’t mean _that_ . I meant… You… You’re in love with me, and I’m definitely-  _definitely_ in love with you too. We can take things slow.”

“So. Boyfriends.”

“Yeah, boyfriends.”

Jaehwan tilts his head up, making Wonshik’s forehead out of place. Their breaths mingle, and he can feel Wonshik’s hot breath ghosting over his cupid’s bow.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“You’re still talking.”

The pancakes Wonshik eagerly woke up early to make lay forgotten on the table, for now, getting colder by the second as the two occupants in the room become… Busy.

::

Later, after they finally manage to latch off each other, Wonshik ‘accidentally’ manhandling Jaehwan on the countertop, messily making out and hornily grinding like schoolboys, until Jaehwan's stomach noisily grumbles and interrupts them.

They have breakfast with the pancakes gone cold, but they laugh and say it’s okay through buttery and caramel exchanges. The underside of some pancakes are a little burnt too, but Jaehwan likes it the way it is.

He borrows Wonshik’s iPhone charger, sheepishly saying he will probably not hear the end of Hakyeon if he doesn’t open his phone soon.

Wonshik hands him the cord, and kisses his cheek, saying that’ll he need to actually leave penthouse in a bit, off to meet a producer or something. He asks Jaehwan if he can stay, and Jaehwan couldn’t even bother hiding his eagerness to.

For now, he plugs his phone in, and he sighs when the battery logo with a thunderbolt flashes on-screen. Jaehwan lies like a starfish on Wonshik’s bed – he found it so comfortable immediately, like a cushion made with thousands of feathers and he needs every ounce of his will to stand up.

His boyfriend ( _boyfriend!!!_ ) steps out of his walk-in-closet, catching Jaehwan’s attention. He barely turns his head, though, still magnetised by the increased gravity in Wonshik’s bed.

“Aren’t you looking a little too good this morning?” Jaehwan pipes up as he scans Wonshik in his orange (probably branded) t-shirt tucked into skinny jeans, his black hair looser today and a lot more stray hairs fell to his face, and of course, Jaehwan’s absolute favourite of his, his wire-rimmed round glasses.

His question earns a judging look from Wonshik, who all but sprays cologne.

“When you come back,” Jaehwan continues anyway, crossing his legs as he watches Wonshik pamper himself up, “you better fuck me in those clothes.” Just imagining how Wonshik would look while fucking him wearing that… His hairs falling into his forehead as he… Okay, stop that.

“Why are you so horny?” Wonshik asks him rhetorically, as he himself isn’t really anybody to ask.

“Trust me, it’s your glasses.”

“Would you still love me even if I don’t wear glasses? These are fake, you know.”

“Debatable.”

(When Wonshik’s gone and Jaehwan’s left to his devices, he finally checks his phone that was momentarily forgotten on the bedside. He waits for it to boot up, crossing his fingers as it does, hoping it wouldn’t be as bad as he thinks.

There were five miscalls from Hakyeon, two from Taekwoon. And about sixteen messages.

Jaehwan hesitantly opens his Messages app, and he scrolls, until the very first text Hakyeon sent him last night.

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**where are you?  
        _10:46PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**what the fuck jaehwan i only  
        went out to grab bread with taekwoon  
        and hongbin and i hear that you  
        went off running with wonshik  
        _10:48PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**sanghyuk told me you two took  
        off with the whole production  
        staff on your heels  
        _10:48PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**you actually proposed to him  
        in front of two hundred people.  
        wow. my INFLUENCE  
        _10:50PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**taekwoon told me i’m partially  
        responsible for this but you know  
        what? he’s right but you wouldn’t  
        have done ANYTHING if  
        i didnt help you so  
        _10:52PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**okay it’s getting late you still  
        haven’t replied  
        _11:34PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**i hope you’re safe with wonshik  
        _11:42PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**actually im sure you’re actually  
        getting dick right now  
        _11:44PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**i take it back i hope you’re  
        PRACTICING it safe with wonshik  
        _11:44PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**remember most hiv victims got hiv  
        because theyre gay and ditched the  
        rubber prison  
        _11:44PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**rubber prison is probably the best  
        metaphor i made  
        _11:47PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**i told taekwoon and he’s not amused.  
        _11:50PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**when will MY boyfriend appreciate my  
        jokes like wonshik does to you  
        _11:51M_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**i let him dick me rubber prison less after  
        knowing each other for so long and  
        _11:51PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**wow actually this is actually tmi  
        _11:52PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**ok i hope you’re fine  
        _11:54PM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**tell your new BESTIE (since you’re SO  
        in denial that wonshik’s your boyfriend) i  
        said hi. and that his manager’s assistant  
        is so cute and i want to adopt him so  
        taekwoon and i can raise him.  
        _11:55PM_

Hakyeon really uh, had the time of life messaging him last night, huh.

Sighing, he starts typing out a message, shamefully, but at the same time, Jaehwan really should’ve grown past that phase already.

 **You** **  
**hes not my bestie shut up  
        _7:26AM_

As expected, he immediately gets a reply, making Jaehwan fall onto the soft pillows again as he reads and replies.

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**o shit sorry i meant fiance  
        _7:27AM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**also are you gonna show up today or ?  
        _7:27AM_

 **You** **  
**shut up. also no  
        _7:28AM_

 **Cha Hag-yeon** **  
**why? your boyfriend asked you to stay?  
        _7:29AM_

 **You** **  
**yeah. my boyfriend asked me to stay.  
        _7:30AM )_

**Author's Note:**

> ive NEVER thought i would finish this fic nor even dream of writing as long as this but here we are
> 
> thank u hesa <3 for cheering me as i wrote through this whole thing and bothering to beta this mess i love u
> 
> also i wish this fic was actually sponsored
> 
> yes every food and drink mentioned here are legit and irl
> 
> every frappe jaehwan and wonshik drank are all starbucks drinks and i love them all especially the hibiscus tea. big fave
> 
> [THE RESTAURANT](http://www.jihwajafood.co.kr/eng/menu/course2.php#setmenu1) wonshik and jaehwan ate at for the first time. fancy place.
> 
> [the bar](https://black-buddha.com/play/le-chamber) jaehwan got wasted at. also fancy place
> 
> also wonshik's penthouse was modelled after kang cheol's penthouse (here is the [living room](http://afamily1.mediacdn.vn/M8N20d5STCm5E9QXKSmE0TPi2bNc59/Image/2016/08/chiem-nguong-can-ho-xa-hoa-cua-kang-chul-trong-phim-w-2-the-gioi_74ce9383e6.jpg) and here is the [bedroom](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/56/b6/c4/56b6c41801a2aa296d7f5e14945c5fe3.jpg)) from W (we been knew) i love lee jong suk thank u
> 
> ALSO UH
> 
> i. [dramaturgy](https://youtu.be/jJzw1h5CR-I)  
> ii. [capriccio farce](https://youtu.be/Cljrc5rqWrg)  
> iii. [town of jade](https://youtu.be/Oe1oOgv3QKI) (this song specifically. reminded me of this fic and i just HAD to use it and i actually almost considered using it as the actual fic title)
> 
> UHHH THAT'S ABOUT IT I THINK
> 
> thank you so much if you read until now!! i never intended this to be so long i promise. my original goal was no more than ten thousand but it felt lacking and undeveloped so...
> 
> i'd be so happy if you even left kudos or comments (!)
> 
> thank you i love u let's talk on twitter @[chocoleotier](https://twitter.com/chocoleotier)


End file.
